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Pieces

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Paul McCartney Hyping Himself Up Outside of Ricky’s Pub Before Naming The Beatles – July 14, 1958, Liverpool
20
August 2019
Okay Paul. You’ve got this mate. You’re gonna go in there, you’re gonna march rig…
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Yearbook Signing
May 2021
-Hey Brad, want me to sign your yearbook? -Of course, Dylan! Good luck at Dartmouth next year. We&…
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Late
171
January 2022
I look down at the watch tattooed on my wrist. It’s 10:00. Fuck. I look up at my wall clock t…
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How Cancer Eventually Got Cured
9
July 2021
Before you say anything, we know what you’re thinking: why should you care that cancer eventu…
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The Talk
November 2020
My Birth Mom: It’s a boy! Me: Hey, girl, what’s up? What you doing later, sexy…
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Gun Show
July 2021
Turbus: And this here is the Heckler and Koch SR9, with extra bolt-action to make your kills absolu…
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A Quest
December 2020
I’m embarking on a quest to personally give a big thumbs-up to the child who made my iPhone. …
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Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me
10
September 2020
Peter Sagal: Thaaaanks Bill, it’s the week between Christmas and new years and we here at Wai…
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Tales of Vengeance
10
September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
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King of Smooth
21
December 2021
You’re down in the dumps, sad about your boyfriend leaving you for a prettier, more confident…
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If Money Grew On Trees
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- Environmental protection would be bipartisan. - In the fall, you could substitute real money wit…
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Playwriting
51
February 2020
Last Monday they caught me playwriting during detention.  “Well well well, what do we h…
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Love Song
November 2020
This next song goes out to Janet Fisher, a very special girl in my life. Janet are you here tonight…
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The Flu Game
10
May 2021
And Jordan moves left… Spins around Stockton… Wretches nine times and DRAINS the mid-…
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My Trip to Cleveland
10
December 2020
I’m going to be honest with you, reader—my sophomore fall didn’t get off to a gre…
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Discovery Kids Pilot Episode
July 2018
– We’re in KidLand! ClapClapClap Having fun with the Kidman! ClapClapClap That’s …
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Algorithms
6
January 2020
Algorithms are all around us. You might not see or hear them, but they are present. They are there …
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The Talk Throughout History
10
November 2020
Eve: I think that’s the wrong hole.Adam: Again?? I really wish we had parents to sit us down …