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Pieces
Going to America
107
LKN '25 • May 2023
Grandpa says that in America, the streets are paved with gold and the water is made of milk and hon…
Rare
1
HJH '19 • December 2020
Some things are less rare than you think. Winning the Lottery My friend Rigley won the lottery ye…
A Day in the Life of Hamish Olsen, New York, 19
55
CDL '21 • December 2020
She looked at him like a deer in headlights might look at someone if it had human eyes. Hamish had …
Chained To A Tree
57
EAT '24 •
When they were all like “We need someone to chain themselves to this tree!” I was all l…
My Dog and All My Coworkers’ Dogs All Got Food Poisoning From the Office Dog Food Stash and It Was Really Awful and Sad
16
YMC '21-'22 • September 2021
Monday Me: (crying at desk).Lisa: Sorry to hear about your Maltese dog, Doug. When my su…
Cryobank Waiting Room
196
JLN '21-22 • October 2020
- First time? - Yeah. Gotta pay rent somehow. - &…
Fight Song
6
JFAR '19-'22 • October 2018
This is the fight song for John Wayne Gacy, the Murderer, High School. JWG High We Love You …
Film Noir
27
MMM '20 • December 2020
The year was December 17th, winter to be exact. Outside my office it was a wet, dark afternoon&mdas…
TV Salesman
13
ZDG '20 • October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
Lifeguarding
14
MAG '21-'22 • December 2018
Lifeguard: (sips smoothie) I’m just saying: if your kid was “drowning in the deep end&r…
Kashan Rugs
10
EAH • May 2022
Laser Danger
30
MAG '21-'22 • January 2022
Before dying of liver failure, action stuntman Laser Danger said some of the coolest things utter…
Rhombus
319
JGB '25 • May 2023
I have the rare version of the Midas Touch where everything I touch turns into rhombuses. It all st…
Condolences
61
OECGP ’22-’24 • March 2023
Tue, Jun 9, 2:47 PM Hey bud, I was super bummed to see that obituary about you this morning. Big c…
Amnesia
1
GPL '21-'22 • October 2019
– John? I mean uh, excuse me random stranger? – What do you want? – I have amne…
Hottest Girls In School
12
YMC '21-'22 • December 2021
And, action. Open on the Three Hottest Girls in school, walking in unison, places in all the…
An Undercover Cop In The Movie ‘Footloose’
MFP '23-24 • May 2021
Psssst. Hey kids. Yeah you guys. Looking for a good time? I could help you out with some purchases …
SNOWED IN
10
ZDG '20 • January 2020
Operator: 911, what’s your emergency? Me: I’m… stuck, in my cabin. I need human…
Times That an Extinction-Level Nuclear War Would Really Suck
59
SAB '24 • May 2022
- One day before technology that makes everyone live forever is invented - One hour before all the…
How McDonalds Came Up With Grimace
1154
JRD '22-'23 • May 2021
Businessman: As I was saying, what do kids love? Characters! We just ran with that. Businesswoman:…
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