Home About Comp Masthead Contact

Pieces

...
Tuxedo
September 2020
Glad I’ve got someone interested in buying Tuxedo. My father died in this tuxedo, and then it…
...
Paul McCartney Hyping Himself Up Outside of Ricky’s Pub Before Naming The Beatles – July 14, 1958, Liverpool
21
August 2019
Okay Paul. You’ve got this mate. You’re gonna go in there, you’re gonna march rig…
...
The C5 Beer Pong Table Piece
December 2019
So you’re in the market for a custom Beer Pong Table, preferably in the C4 through C6 range, …
...
Dropping My D-Hall Tray
October 2020
No, dude. No no no no this is not happening right now. I’ve lightly grazed the doorframe on m…
...
Toss Me Off The Edge, Then, Why Don’t You?
August 2020
Oh, sure. Back me up further to the edge of the boat. I don’t mind. Are you pissed? You seem …
...
My First Crush
November 2020
Her name was Sarah and I was absolutely head over heels for her. I’d cut two holes in a trash…
...
D-Day Picnic
June 2020
Soldiers: (storm the beach) (lots of explosions) Father: What the heck we’re having a picnic…
...
‘Tucket
105
June 2020
Hot Babes. Everywhere. Oyster season baby. Oyster. Fucking. Season. Summer on the ‘Tuck. If y…
...
If It Were Big Bird
May 2021
In 1986, instead of an elementary school teacher, NASA had initially considered Big Bird as their f…
...
The History of Hats
October 2020
There are all types of hats, like silver or classic. But hats haven’t always dominated our co…
...
At The Airport With My Least Favorite Uncle
7
April 2020
Uncle: Hey, Martin! Martin! Sit with me! Martin: I gotta get on my plane. Uncle: Where’re y…
...
Vanitas
2
December 2020
Now that you finally have this issue in your hands, you’re probably wondering one thing and o…
...
The Woods
53
November 2019
I bring you out here at the end of summer every year. You notice that? My father did the same. My f…
...
Sleepy Sam
16
Coming soon to a theater near you… (upbeat music playing) Sam Shmorganstein is a zookeeper w…
...
Dear President
16
October 2019
Dear President, My name is Bradley and I am 8. I’m from Ohio and my mom won’t let me p…
...
Teacher’s Note
20
July 2021
Dear Parent, If you are receiving this note it means that your child has been enrolled in my class…
...
Ray Charles
1
December 2020
For forty years I’ve been Ray Charles’s private caretaker, helping make his dreams come…
...
Vanitas
October 2020
Dear Judging Committee for the American Society for Magazine Editors, I notice you have not been r…
...
Polygamy
1063
November 2020
-Hey man, you gonna make it to the barbecue this Saturday? –(Groans) Ughhh I really wish I c…
...
Mr. Worldwide
26
December 2020
Pitbull’s plane touches down at Miami International Airport at 12:43 on a Tuesday. He’s…