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Pieces

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Churchill
11
July 2021
Winston Churchill, known for all of his political and military accomplishments, was also a Nobel Pr…
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Mr. 305
14
September 2021
Ever had somebody tell you that you looked like a celebrity? For some it’s a blessing, but fo…
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Things To Say If You Want To Join The Cool Table
22
December 2021
Don’t mind me, lemme pull up a chair—backwards. My mom packs me lemon slices instead…
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My First Crush
November 2020
Her name was Sarah and I was absolutely head over heels for her. I’d cut two holes in a trash…
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College
10
October 2020
Kid: Well, I guess this is it, huh? Mom: Our baby boy, going to college. You know I remember when …
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My Relationship
2
February 2010
… is like any other, especially the kind where one partner steals from the other, day after …
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Charlie and the Next Successor
10
November 2019
It was time for old Charlie to pick the next child to take over the chocolate factory just as Willy…
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Waterboy
83
January 2022
It’s my first day as waterboy. The rest of staff is nowhere to be found, so I guess I gotta…
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Hell
1
November 2020
There’s a special place in hell for weird guys who can’t be kept in the regular part of…
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Dropping My D-Hall Tray
October 2020
No, dude. No no no no this is not happening right now. I’ve lightly grazed the doorframe on m…
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Algorithms
7
January 2020
Algorithms are all around us. You might not see or hear them, but they are present. They are there …
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Mall Santa
18
October 2020
Beep. Beep. Beep. 5:15 AM. I sigh. I brew my morning coffee and catch up on the news — just …
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Crowdsourcing Request
December 2020
Hey Guys!I’m sending you this email to invite you to help with my crowdfunding campaign. I&r…
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Surf Trip
20
December 2020
I’ll never forget the summer I road-tripped to Hawaii with my two best friends. While it star…
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TV Salesman
13
October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
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The C5 Beer Pong Table Piece
December 2019
So you’re in the market for a custom Beer Pong Table, preferably in the C4 through C6 range, …
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Stars
6
June 2021
-Wow, you’re right, stargazing is pretty cool. -Stare long enough, and apparently you start …
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Playwriting
51
February 2020
Last Monday they caught me playwriting during detention.  “Well well well, what do we h…
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King of Smooth
35
December 2021
You’re down in the dumps, sad about your boyfriend leaving you for a prettier, more confident…
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E=mcBUTT
February 2020
sigh No, Percival, it does not. But due to your father’s generous donation, I am… plea…