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Pieces

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What I Imagine Summer Camp is Like
December 2020
1. Toodle-ee-doo! The trumpet song wakes me up—time to canoe to breakfast. 2. I eat slop wit…
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A Taste of My Own Medicine
9
October 2020
Most people don’t believe this, but my job wasn’t always swindling terminally-ill peopl…
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Driving a Plane
21
September 2021
As I’m driving a plane down the highway, airport control radio crackles in, “Unit 332, …
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The C5 Beer Pong Table Piece
10
December 2019
So you’re in the market for a custom Beer Pong Table, preferably in the C4 through C6 range, …
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Ice Gun
September 2021
- You know that I love and support you, right? - Of course. - And that goes for anything, includi…
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Life After the Lampoon
18
August 2019
Conan O’Brien: Juan, congrats on graduating! Here, take this. Me: Wow, another Ferrari! Con…
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Antidepressants
167
January 2022
What they don’t tell you about starting antidepressants is that sometimes you’ll try to…
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Cryobank Waiting Room
181
October 2020
-       First time? -       Yeah. Gotta pay rent somehow.  - &…
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QUEER ON THE FRONTIER
8
October 2020
Host: Hello and welcome back to Queer on the Frontier: the show that examines cultural representati…
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Mall Santa
18
October 2020
Beep. Beep. Beep. 5:15 AM. I sigh. I brew my morning coffee and catch up on the news — just …
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r/women Comix
11
March 2023
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Fire Department Tour
20
March 2020
Fire Chief: And this here’s where we do our laundry—(alarm goes off) Oof, sorry kids, t…
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Mr. 305
24
September 2021
Ever had somebody tell you that you looked like a celebrity? For some it’s a blessing, but fo…
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Barbershop Quartet
January 2020
Lead: Fellas, meet the new fifth member of our quartet–Tom! Bass: Swell to meet ya Tom! Bar…
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Surf Trip
27
December 2020
I’ll never forget the summer I road-tripped to Hawaii with my two best friends. While it star…
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Eugenics
December 2020
– Looks like your baby came out of the eugenics machine beautifully. – Doctor, that is…
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Ashes
1
March 2019
-Well hereeeee you go Mrs. Johnson — your very own son’s ashes. -Why, doctor, these as…
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Laser Danger
20
January 2022
Before dying of liver failure, action stuntman Laser Danger said some of the coolest things utter…
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Crying in the Rain
1
October 2020
And I mean yeah they can’t see you cry in the rain, but shit right through your pants? People…
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Gorilla Larry
18
October 2020
– Woo wooo  eeh  ahhh  wooo  *feeds on stems*. – There he is, what…