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Pieces
City Nights, 3029
20
GPCP '22 • May 2022
It’s Saturday night, and I’m looking for trouble. Shades. Scowl. Leather jacket in all …
Secret Journal
6
GPCP '22 • December 2021
-Hey, I found the quiet kid’s journal—it’s all about the popular kids and how he&…
Whack-A-Mole
78
FOD '24 • January 2022
I walk in every morning and the arcade carny asks me, “what’ll it be?” I reply…
Eugenics
ASB '17 • December 2020
– Looks like your baby came out of the eugenics machine beautifully. – Doctor, that is…
Safari
2
BWM '19-'21 • September 2020
“And here you’ll see the world’s fastest animal, the cheetah. A beautiful example…
2009 Make-A-Wish
51
JGB '25 •
LeBron: Well, it’s been great having you here, bud! (smiles at TV cameras) Kid: Listen, LeBr…
Vanitas
LRK '21-'22 • January 2021
Dear Readers, My greatest hope for you all is that you actually know how to read because t…
Lose Yourself Artist Commentary
2
JGS '20 • October 2019
Organ Harvesting
57
JGB '25 •
Dealer: Just give me the money. Buyer: Hang on. I want to see the goods first. (Dealer motions to…
A Worry
10
BWM '19-'21 • March 2020
Sometimes I worry that there is a GMO soybean out to get me.It’s all fucked up and has like w…
Make Your Own Ad
15
CLC '22-'23 • May 2022
Cowboy Fantasies
6
MAG '21-'22 • March 2020
“I’ve been having cowboy fantasies again,” I mumble, before kicking through the s…
Smart Home
43
JGB '25 • March 2023
Randy: (puts down bags) Ah, it’s good to be back. Jessica: Honey, turn on the lights, it&rsq…
Middle School Beauty
34
MJS '19 • June 2018
Wendy Perkins is the hottest girl in the 7th grade. She reads at a 6th grade level, but her body i…
Trading Up
42
EB '24 • September 2022
In 2005, Kyle MacDonald successfully traded up from a paperclip to a house. – Starti…
Lobotomy
97
GPCP '22 • January 2022
I sit down at the lunch table with a pruning saw and a smile. “Well, boys, I finally did it. …
Oliver Twist
12
RYSL • September 2022
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight I have the honor of performing the annual orphan monologue for this y…
Biome
OTLB '13 • July 2021
Life ‘em up, boys. That’s what our sergeant used to say. Our job was to create the bigg…
My Diwali
4
SAB '24 •
Diwali is a festival of lights that occurs in either October or November and is one of the major fe…
Glossary of Future Terms
10
MAG '21-'22 • July 2021
Welcome to the Year 2435! Please step off the portal platform. Here are some words you’ll nee…
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