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Pieces
Oliver Twist
12
RYSL • September 2022
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight I have the honor of performing the annual orphan monologue for this y…
Now That’s What I Call Music! Vol. 18,482
JEC '21 • July 2021
Track 1 – Give Me a Little Gas, SisterTrack 2 – Your Girl Got Too Much Exhaust in the F…
Hindenburg
38
MRB FOD • May 2023
Only 35 of the 97 total passengers were killed in the Hindenburg Blimp disaster. This has really ta…
Last Day at the Zoo
17
NSG '20-'22 • December 2020
After serving as head zookeeper for 25 years and chief hunting assistant during a disastrous week-l…
How McDonalds Came Up With Grimace
1154
JRD '22-'23 • May 2021
Businessman: As I was saying, what do kids love? Characters! We just ran with that. Businesswoman:…
Swearing Kills
54
MFP '23-24 • May 2022
Lobotomy
97
GPCP '22 • January 2022
I sit down at the lunch table with a pruning saw and a smile. “Well, boys, I finally did it. …
Keynote Speech
2
SWR '19-'20 • December 2020
And that is how Denta-Firm is changing the game, as the world’s first ever blood-free tooth…
A Letter To The Suburbs
23
RYSL • December 2023
Dear Suburbs, You are my roots; I owe you everything. You molded me into the man that the city to…
Horses
308
CLHC '26 • May 2023
I first saw her in English class. After a quick forty-minute search of Google, I found out that she…
Driving to a Burger Joint
CAS '12 • October 2018
“You gonna bring the shit tonight or what?” Simon was riding shotgun in Bill Shi…
Advice For A New CIA Agent
15
HHD • October 2008
Welcome to your first day in the CIA. First of all, congratulations. If you’re an agent, you …
Debugging
103
FOD '24 • March 2023
My story begins with me working as an engineer on one of the first computers in the world, wh…
Obituary
12
MAG '21-'22 • July 2021
If you would’ve told me yesterday that I’d be writing an obituary for the guy in this…
The Art of the Username
11
PKS '21-'22 • May 2020
Choosing a permanent username is a lot like choosing a name for your new baby insofar as it’s…
Mr. Worldwide
26
CDL '21 • December 2020
Pitbull’s plane touches down at Miami International Airport at 12:43 on a Tuesday. He’s…
Fight Song
6
JFAR '19-'22 • October 2018
This is the fight song for John Wayne Gacy, the Murderer, High School. JWG High We Love You …
How Long Have You Been Unemployed?
9
LRK '21-'22 • October 2020
Uncle Buck: That’s an incredibly personal question. Me: I’m just asking because I&rsqu…
Dating Simulator
26
GPCP '22 • August 2021
It’s the first day at Romance Academy. A new student introduces herself to you: Mitzi, eighte…
Film Noir
28
MMM '20 • December 2020
The year was December 17th, winter to be exact. Outside my office it was a wet, dark afternoon&mdas…
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