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Pieces
My Birth
8
SWR '19-'20 • December 2020
Here are some things that might happen when I am born. — The doctor accidentally gives my pa…
Whale Watching
11
HJH '19 • October 2020
Guide: And here we have a FULL ORCA BREACH FOLKS A FULL BREACH! 9 O’CLOCK!!! Crowd: Wow! Ga…
Toss Me Off The Edge, Then, Why Don’t You?
ZDG '20 • August 2020
Oh, sure. Back me up further to the edge of the boat. I don’t mind. Are you pissed? You seem …
Blockbuster
22
MAG '21-'22 • October 2020
The year is 2004. It’s Friday in 2004. You head to the Blockbuster in 2004 with your dad to r…
Shark Tank U.S.S.R
49
PKS '21-'22 • October 2020
Host: Welcome to Shark Tank USSR. Alexei: Privet, sharks. Today I am asking for 0 rubles in …
Driving a Plane
32
EAT '24 • September 2021
As I’m driving a plane down the highway, airport control radio crackles in, “Unit 332, …
Now That’s What I Call Music! Vol. 18,482
JEC '21 • July 2021
Track 1 – Give Me a Little Gas, SisterTrack 2 – Your Girl Got Too Much Exhaust in the F…
The Black Death
49
YMC '21-'22 • March 2022
- Anne, mine old friend, I… I hast been touch'd by the bubonic plague.- Nay! Prithee, Margar…
The Dust Bowl
LGF '21-'22 • December 2020
Football is not what it used to be. During my golden years, AKA the Great Depression, we were all i…
Trying To Write Mental Health Pieces When Your Mental Health Is Pretty Okay At The Moment
210
GPCP '22 • January 2022
You close your laptop, wishing you had something real to write about. The first three pieces about …
Cool Kevin
6
MAG '21-'22 • December 2021
Cool Kevin is a man the military pays to come to our office and yell at us about not smoking mariju…
Inspired Musings
1
BWM '19-'21 • December 2020
Scientists say that the murder rate goes up when there is a full moon. But so does the rate of peop…
Surf Trip
37
HJH '19 • December 2020
I’ll never forget the summer I road-tripped to Hawaii with my two best friends. While it star…
TV Salesman
13
ZDG '20 • October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
That Guy
BWM '19-'21 • March 2020
-Hey, who is that?-That guy, over there? I don’t know.-He must be pretty important-What makes…
Charlie and the Next Successor
11
JGS '20 • November 2019
It was time for old Charlie to pick the next child to take over the chocolate factory just as Willy…
May I Approach the Bench?
24
OMA '24 • May 2023
You may, but keep it quick, I have five minutes until Judge Judy comes on, and I’m going to…
Donate Broth
49
JGB '25 • May 2022
Squirrels
61
RYSL •
My ideal hangover cure is a lazy afternoon at the park, sipping on a cold beer and talking with the…
The Beat Generation
17
MAG '21-'22 • March 2019
Jazz flowed from the streets in the 50s. We swam naked in the churches. We prayed in the oceans. We…
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