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Pieces

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Genesis
December 2020
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, but …
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Guest Lecture by Joseph Campbell at University of Chicago, Transcript 11/24/68
30
December 2020
Good evening students. I’d like to begin by thanking those of you who showed up to this lectu…
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Answering Machine
October 2020
– (pickup) Hello? – Doc?! Is that you? It’s Billy.  – The Doctor is …
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Amnesia
1
October 2019
– John? I mean uh, excuse me random stranger? – What do you want? – I have amne…
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Prisoner’s Dilemma
38
November 2019
Sitting handcuffed in the interrogation room, I started to sweat. They had the room at a cool 65, b…
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My Trip to Cleveland
13
December 2020
I’m going to be honest with you, reader—my sophomore fall didn’t get off to a gre…
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One Man Car Wash
June 2020
– (standing on street corner with buckets of water, some rags, and a ‘Car Wash’ s…
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Mall Santa
18
October 2020
Beep. Beep. Beep. 5:15 AM. I sigh. I brew my morning coffee and catch up on the news — just …
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Retirement Compound Salesman
14
November 2020
Apt. 1B: Hello there! How often have you dropped that Life Alert of yours into the toilet? At your …
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Richard A. Smith: The Hero
December 2021
It’s every kid’s dream to be a superhero, which is why I spend all my time wandering ar…
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Larry Buys Condoms
20
March 2020
Larry: Hey, can I get some rubbers.  Clerk: Yeah, sure, what kind of johnny you looking for, …
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St. Louis Children’s Theatre Production Company
10
March 2019
Hello kids, thanks for coming out to audition. First, a little bit about me. My unrelenting passion…
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Vanitas
73
March 2022
On the first day, God created the heavens and the earth. "Let there be light," He said, and there w…
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Advice on How to Deal With a Concussion From Someone With a Concussion
35
January 2022
Listen up. I’m gonna tell you a straight fact that may or may not be true and can 100% help w…
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Crying in the Rain
1
October 2020
And I mean yeah they can’t see you cry in the rain, but shit right through your pants? People…
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Exam Locations
6
May 2018
Last Names A- Y: Harding Room 2121 Last Name Zanderson: Arrive at the boarded up Liquor-Max on Was…
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A Worry
2
March 2020
Sometimes I worry that there is a GMO soybean out to get me.It’s all fucked up and has like w…
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Book Discussion
14
September 2021
Teacher: Greg, could you open discussion on the theme of villainy in Great Expectations?G…
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Gun Show
July 2021
Turbus: And this here is the Heckler and Koch SR9, with extra bolt-action to make your kills absolu…
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At The Airport With My Least Favorite Uncle
7
April 2020
Uncle: Hey, Martin! Martin! Sit with me! Martin: I gotta get on my plane. Uncle: Where’re y…