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Pieces
Smart Home
43
JGB '25 • March 2023
Randy: (puts down bags) Ah, it’s good to be back. Jessica: Honey, turn on the lights, it&rsq…
Dinosaur Story
25
FOD '24 • May 2022
Tour Guide: We’ve finally reached the Chicxulub crater, everyone, the site of the explosion t…
New Best Friend
330
SEH '26 • May 2023
This guy Brian showed up in my shower last night. The water wasn’t on, he was just read…
Larry Buys Condoms
20
BWM '19-'21 • March 2020
Larry: Hey, can I get some rubbers. Clerk: Yeah, sure, what kind of johnny you looking for, …
Trading Up
26
EB '24 • September 2022
In 2005, Kyle MacDonald successfully traded up from a paperclip to a house. – Starti…
Sleeper Agent
52
RYSL • May 2023
My first company-wide meeting as chairman started smoothly, but when I announced my plan to ban uni…
Rhombus
319
JGB '25 • May 2023
I have the rare version of the Midas Touch where everything I touch turns into rhombuses. It all st…
Eugenics
ASB '17 • December 2020
– Looks like your baby came out of the eugenics machine beautifully. – Doctor, that is…
Dialogue Piece
44
MFP '23-24 • March 2023
— How was your weekend? — I can’t tell you about things I did …
My Relationship
8
ZPH '12 • February 2010
… is like any other, especially the kind where one partner steals from the other, day after …
The Art of The Password, by Shar
20
PKS '21-'22 • May 2023
If you make your password a real word make it assword because that’ll make your hacker laugh.…
Cowboy Fantasies
6
MAG '21-'22 • March 2020
“I’ve been having cowboy fantasies again,” I mumble, before kicking through the s…
Lou Bega Gets Married
8
PKS '21-'22 • July 2019
A little bit of Jenieva in my life A little bit of Jenieva by my side A little bit of Jenieva is …
Surf Trip
37
HJH '19 • December 2020
I’ll never forget the summer I road-tripped to Hawaii with my two best friends. While it star…
Elvis Has Left the Building
61
Robert Carlock '95 • November 2020
ANNOUNCER: “Elvis has left the building!” TEENAGE FANS: “(Scream)!” ANNOU…
My Cult
3
NGH '23 • June 2021
If you’re thinking about joining a classic, hardcore, intense kind of cult, then only think a…
Laser Danger
30
MAG '21-'22 • January 2022
Before dying of liver failure, action stuntman Laser Danger said some of the coolest things utter…
Lawnmower
11
MAS '18 • December 2020
Want to stop mowing your lawn like a quivering pussy? Then shut the fuck up and buy the GRASS-FUCKE…
Yo Mama So Fat
34
JFAR '19-'22 • April 2019
-…is the best way I thought I could begin breaking this news, Timmy. I’m so sorry. She…
The Dust Bowl
LGF '21-'22 • December 2020
Football is not what it used to be. During my golden years, AKA the Great Depression, we were all i…
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