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Pieces

Funding Needed for Life-Saving Surgery
251
EB '24   •   May 2022
(二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二)$0 raised out of $50000 Please donate to my life-saving surgery. I cannot …
A Letter To The Suburbs
23
RYSL   •   December 2023
Dear Suburbs, You are my roots; I owe you everything. You molded me into the man that the city to…
Chaz's Adventures in Wonderland
37
EAT '24   •  
So I was sitting all up in this tree with my Tinder and I saw this white rabbit. And like, that ass…
Staring Contest
ghost   •   June 2020
Today is the big day I prove to everyone down by the pond that I’m tough enough to be here, a…
A Man with a Limp and Three Glass Eyes
4
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2020
Who am I? I’m the guy who sits in the bar all day and waits for some tall dark and handsome h…
Condolences
61
OECGP ’22-’24   •   March 2023
Tue, Jun 9, 2:47 PM Hey bud, I was super bummed to see that obituary about you this morning. Big c…
The Talk
LRK '21-'22   •   November 2020
My Birth Mom: It’s a boy! Me: Hey, girl, what’s up? What you doing later, sexy…
Male Introspection
124
AMC '23   •  
School Tour
20
EBC '22-'23   •   November 2019
Hey. Hey you. Yeah, you, freshman. Come here. Not so close. You want to see the real secrets this s…
A Day in the Life of Hamish Olsen, New York, 19
55
CDL '21   •   December 2020
She looked at him like a deer in headlights might look at someone if it had human eyes. Hamish had …
Yearbook Signing
10
MAG '21-'22   •   May 2021
-Hey Brad, want me to sign your yearbook? -Of course, Dylan! Good luck at Dartmouth next year. We&…
Real Estate Tour
6
HFJ '18   •   October 2018
-And here’s the pantry. -What’s with these marks on the wall? -We marked our son&rsqu…
Therapy
94
OMA '24   •   January 2022
Okay, Nathan. Now tell me what you see in this picture.  That’s a headshot of you, bu…
Midnight Train
3
AJ '18   •   December 2020
Me: Hello, I’m here to catch the midnight train to Georgia. Station Manager: Well, it will b…
Tales of Vengeance
21
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
Surf Trip
37
HJH '19   •   December 2020
I’ll never forget the summer I road-tripped to Hawaii with my two best friends. While it star…
One Man Car Wash
10
HJH '19   •   June 2020
– (standing on street corner with buckets of water, some rags, and a ‘Car Wash’ s…
Ashes
11
JFAR '19-'22   •   March 2019
-Well hereeeee you go Mrs. Johnson — your very own son’s ashes. -Why, doctor, these as…
Keynote Speech
2
SWR '19-'20   •   December 2020
And that is how Denta-Firm is changing the game, as the world’s first ever blood-free tooth…
Date Ideas
1
LRK '21-'22   •   November 2020
-Tap Dancing Summer Intensive-Battle it out in a kite flying competition-Try lettuce for the first …