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Pieces

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Frat Boy
39
December 2021
There’s nothing cooler than being a frat boy.  Picture this. I’m sitting on the f…
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Shark Tank U.S.S.R
35
October 2020
Host: Welcome to Shark Tank USSR.  Alexei: Privet, sharks. Today I am asking for 0 rubles in …
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Modern Day Barbershop Quartet
3
October 2020
Quartet: (singing) Once is a day at a time, twice is looking so fine! Customer: Neat-o! A quartet!…
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Love Song
November 2020
This next song goes out to Janet Fisher, a very special girl in my life. Janet are you here tonight…
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President Nice Guy
17
December 2020
Richard Holton, our first Nice Guy president, eased out of the womb on December 24, 1921, giving do…
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Hell
1
November 2020
There’s a special place in hell for weird guys who can’t be kept in the regular part of…
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Teacher’s Note
20
July 2021
Dear Parent, If you are receiving this note it means that your child has been enrolled in my class…
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Best Picture
4
October 2020
But just what a year for movies! All my friends tell me, they tell me George Clooney, you love movi…
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Laser Danger
20
January 2022
Before dying of liver failure, action stuntman Laser Danger said some of the coolest things utter…
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Cowboy Fantasies
4
March 2020
“I’ve been having cowboy fantasies again,” I mumble, before kicking through the s…
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Birthday Girl
10
October 2008
BIRTHDAY GIRL:  Tonight’s been unbelievable. You are honestly the most amazing friends…
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Game Theoretic Standoff
117
May 2022
- Freeze, punk! I’ve got you in my pistol’s sights. You can either come over and let me…
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DrivingInstructor.ai
94
May 2022
I get in the car, and I’m doing everything by the book. I’m checking my mirrors, both h…
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How McDonalds Came Up With Grimace
1041
May 2021
Businessman: As I was saying, what do kids love? Characters! We just ran with that. Businesswoman:…
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The Number 6
12
October 2020
Arthur Peddleton is unable to comprehend the number 6. It began as a normal day for Arthur Peddlet…
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Relax
10
October 2018
Welcome to my zen meditation studio, kemosabe. Now get those clothes off and get on the table, the …
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The Beat Generation
2
March 2019
Jazz flowed from the streets in the 50s. We swam naked in the churches. We prayed in the oceans. We…
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Lampy Goes to Bartaco
52
October 2022
What is the only thing Harvard students like more than telling people they went to school “ri…
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My First Crush
November 2020
Her name was Sarah and I was absolutely head over heels for her. I’d cut two holes in a trash…
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Larry was there.
October 2020
Larry was there. Larry saw the flashes as the troposphere lit on fire, the sounds the bombs made as…