Pieces

AJ '18   •   December 2020
I was only five years old when my grandpappy taught me how to shoot a gun. “Pull the trigger …
MFP '23-24   •   May 2021
Psssst. Hey kids. Yeah you guys. Looking for a good time? I could help you out with some purchases …
MMM '20   •   February 2020
sigh No, Percival, it does not. But due to your father’s generous donation, I am… plea…
ZDG '20   •   July 2021
After the success of his first 282 laws, the Babylonian lawgiver released a less popular but more n…
BWM '19-'21   •   March 2020
Larry: Hey, can I get some rubbers.  Clerk: Yeah, sure, what kind of johnny you looking for, …
CLC '22-'23   •   December 2021
You’re down in the dumps, sad about your boyfriend leaving you for a prettier, more confident…
CDL '21   •   October 2020
– What started out as a frankly disgusting case of unbelievable obesity had snowballed into a…
MAG '21-'22   •   July 2021
Welcome to the Year 2435! Please step off the portal platform. Here are some words you’ll nee…
MAK '21   •   January 2021
OTLB '13   •   July 2021
Life ‘em up, boys. That’s what our sergeant used to say. Our job was to create the bigg…
MAV '23-'24   •   November 2020
Apt. 1B: Hello there! How often have you dropped that Life Alert of yours into the toilet? At your …
SWR '19-'20   •   March 2020
Fire Chief: And this here’s where we do our laundry—(alarm goes off) Oof, sorry kids, t…
Jury Duty
253
SAB CLHC   •   May 2023
It’s Monday in Morrison County, and that means the courthouse is open for… business? N…
NSG '20-'22   •   December 2020
After serving as head zookeeper for 25 years and chief hunting assistant during a disastrous week-l…
College
11
HJH '19   •   October 2020
Kid: Well, I guess this is it, huh? Mom: Our baby boy, going to college. You know I remember when …
Krauts
11
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
Legend has it while serving in the trenches in WWI Wittgenstein would masturbate to math. German S…
JRD '22-'23   •   May 2022
- Freeze, punk! I’ve got you in my pistol’s sights. You can either come over and let me…
CYL '26   •   March 2023
1) College is busy, so it is important to set up a schedule with your significant other.  When…
DRM '18   •   December 2020
Uh oh. I did it again. Fell asleep after all the kids got on the bus, so now I gotta get all these …
JFAR '19-'22   •   October 2017
Written by: DRM ’18 Art by: JFAR ’19-22