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Pieces

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Prisoner’s Dilemma
18
November 2019
Sitting handcuffed in the interrogation room, I started to sweat. They had the room at a cool 65, b…
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Frat Boy
29
December 2021
There’s nothing cooler than being a frat boy.  Picture this. I’m sitting on the f…
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Inspired Musings
December 2020
Scientists say that the murder rate goes up when there is a full moon. But so does the rate of peop…
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Street Fight
October 2020
Biker #1: You shouldn’t have knocked that drink out of my hand in there. Now you’re gon…
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My Birth
6
December 2020
Here are some things that might happen when I am born. — The doctor accidentally gives my pa…
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D-Day Picnic
June 2020
Soldiers: (storm the beach) (lots of explosions) Father: What the heck we’re having a picnic…
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Costume Party
1
December 2020
— Hey Brenda how’s it— jesus christ dude! — Ha ha fooled ya. Don’t I…
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SNOWED IN
10
January 2020
Operator: 911, what’s your emergency? Me: I’m… stuck, in my cabin. I need human…
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1999
May 2021
At the end of the millennium people started acting weird. January -The “Euro” is intr…
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Fight Song
6
October 2018
This is the fight song for John Wayne Gacy, the Murderer, High School.  JWG High We Love You …
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Vanitas
January 2021
Dear Readers,   My greatest hope for you all is that you actually know how to read because t…
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Teacher’s Note
16
July 2021
Dear Parent, If you are receiving this note it means that your child has been enrolled in my class…
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One Man Car Wash
June 2020
– (standing on street corner with buckets of water, some rags, and a ‘Car Wash’ s…
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Life After the Lampoon
18
August 2019
Conan O’Brien: Juan, congrats on graduating! Here, take this. Me: Wow, another Ferrari! Con…
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King of Smooth
21
December 2021
You’re down in the dumps, sad about your boyfriend leaving you for a prettier, more confident…
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Ray Charles
December 2020
For forty years I’ve been Ray Charles’s private caretaker, helping make his dreams come…
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Elvis Has Left the Building
Robert Carlock '95
November 2020
ANNOUNCER: “Elvis has left the building!” TEENAGE FANS: “(Scream)!” ANNOU…
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Excerpts From the Great American Novel
74
February 2020
It was time for them to head west with just the shirts on their backs and the shirts on their legs.…
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Whale Watching
9
October 2020
Guide: And here we have a FULL ORCA BREACH FOLKS A FULL BREACH! 9 O’CLOCK!!! Crowd: Wow! Ga…
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Ice Gun
September 2021
- You know that I love and support you, right? - Of course. - And that goes for anything, includi…