Crowdsourcing Request – The Harvard Lampoon

Break of Day #

| Issue Editor: NM '17 | Art Editor: BAB '17

Crowdsourcing Request

  TBW '18

Hey Guys!

I’m sending you this email to invite you to help with my crowdfunding campaign.
I’m currently in the market for a bell. I saw one I really liked last month. One hundred percent bronze, solid construction, nice tone, and it was made pretty humanely. It’s a little heavy – 13.5 tons – and because bells cost $2000 per ton, it costs $27,000. I just don’t have that kind of money.

The bell is in China right now. That’s where they make these things. Transportation isn’t a big issue though. My guy at the bell company says that once you get them on their sides, they roll with no problem. He’ll roll them anywhere.

The reason I need this bell is because of my sleep disorder. If you know me (and you don’t have to to donate) you know how hard it is for me to get up in the morning. Soon eight o’clock becomes nine o’clock and I’m left wondering where my day went.  But this bell? It will be too loud to ignore. It has to be because it’s so big. If it’s not, it will still be fun to look at. Just the anticipation of looking at it will be reason to wake up in the morning.

I’ve already cleared a space in my backyard for the bell so everything’s ready on my end. I don’t expect any objections from the neighbors because this bell is so beautiful. Big bells double property values.

All I need from you guys is donations. Give as much as you can but make sure it’s a lot because this thing is expensive. Whoever gives the most will get to ring the bell anytime they want, one time only.