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Crimson Parody
Fall '25
The Lampoon's Fall 2025 parody of the Harvard Crimson
The Latest
Virtual Date
The Posthumous Writings of B.R. Tanglord # • by JAJ '26
I can barely see you,” Delilah starts off our virtual date...
Mc Carthy In Hell
The POW! # • by HTM '26
Wait! Don’t throw me in the fire...
Lampoon Investigates Was Nam Really That Bad?
The POW! # • by SEH '26
When this reporter first learned about the Vietnam War...
Move Trailer
The Posthumous Writings of B.R. Tanglord # • by GCLS '27
Black screen. Little girl's voice: "There once was a man named Blood-maker...
80-Year-Old Virgin
The Posthumous Writings of B.R. Tanglord # • by BDL '26
You might be wondering: how? Was I unattractive...
Human Piñata
The Posthumous Writings of B.R. Tanglord # • by JDF '28
I’m caught in a time loop where every day I wake up naked inside a piñata...
How To: Human Shield
The POW! # • by CLHC '26
When you get selected to be a human shield you must accept the fact that these are your last few minutes alive...
War Horse
The POW! # • by SEH '26
War Horse is very fast and strong. He is good Horse...
Polygraph Test
The Posthumous Writings of B.R. Tanglord # • by BDL '26
Me: I did not kill my wife...
FBI's Most Wanted Children
The POW! # • by CLHC '26
8-year-old Chinese boy who had his emotions surgically...
Silly PTSD
The POW! # • by CYL '26
Coming home from the war has been an adjustment. My family has had to get used to the fact that I no longer have any legs...
Call of Duty 1969
The POW! # • by HTM '26
A foreign land. A jungle of death...
Deep Cuts
FOMO Cop on the Job
Justice Is Served # • by OMA '24
Driver: What seems to be the problem, officer?
Officer: You been drinking tonight, sir? Where you b...
Therapy
The Mental Health Issue # • by OMA '24
Okay, Nathan. Now tell me what you see in this picture.
That’s a headshot of you, but your neck ...
Bug Date
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional # • by MSS ’25
Heyy! sorry i feel like i was talking ur ear off last night about all the different new types of meditation ive come up w hahaha...
Me & My Babies
Me and My Lovers # • by CDL '21
I milk myself nightly into my tub. My nightly emissions pool in my bath, glistening with a spectral ...
Texting on My Laptop II
Hey You Yeah You Quit Pulling My Leg # • by MAG '21-'22
You have entered the chat.
You have added Sarah Brickman to the chat.
Me: Sarah
Me: !!
Me: ****S...
Larry Purchases a Masturbation Bot
Larry vs. the Infernal Machine # • by Anonymous
Larry: Power on
Masturbation Bot 3000: (turns on, starts fingering self)
Larry: Jesus… This is pe...
Retirement Compound Salesman
Me and My Lovers # • by MAV '23-'24
Apt. 1B: Hello there! How often have you dropped that Life Alert of yours into the toilet? At your a...
What I Would Do if I Could Fly?
Upside Up # • by FOD '24
- I would swoop and soar.
- I would perch on rooftops and listen in on conversations of my frien...
Post-Modern Family
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional # • by KMB '26
Mr. Parker marries Esmeralda, a Colombian
bombshell 20 years his senior with...
The Beat Generation
Smellfungus # • by MAG '21-'22
Jazz flowed from the streets in the 50s. We swam naked in the churches. We prayed in the oceans. We ...
New York
Last Ditch Effort # • by BWM '19-'21
Driver (singing): By God! I’m taking this Duck Boat to New York!
Passengers (singing together): He’...
Quick Update
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional # • by RB '26
To my dear patients it goes without saying that I will not be taking cancer advice from anyone with cancer...