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Crimson Parody
Fall '25
The Lampoon's Fall 2025 parody of the Harvard Crimson
The Latest
80-Year-Old Virgin
The Posthumous Writings of B.R. Tanglord # • by BDL '26
You might be wondering: how? Was I unattractive...
Triage
The POW! # • by CLHC '26
Intervention Letter
The Posthumous Writings of B.R. Tanglord # • by DKN ’27
Tanglord, I'm here because I love you. I know we haven't talked in a bit, but it's not like I haven't tried. It's just that ever since we told you about beer last Thursday...
Barbie Gets Breast Cancer
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional # • by KMB '26
Welcome to the first support group meeting for Barbies with Cancer. Please help yourself to some Easy-Bake banana bread...
Miss Trunchbull Goes to the Club
The Posthumous Writings of B.R. Tanglord # • by GMB '28
This place blows...
B.R. Tanglord: Life, Literature. Legacy
The Posthumous Writings of B.R. Tanglord # • by MSS ’25
As detailed in the previous pages...
Job Application: Pizza Hut Delivery Driver
The POW! # • by The Harvard Lampoon
None of your goddam business...
How To: Mexican Standoffs
The POW! # • by MSS ’25
The first thing you will need to do is point a gun at a guy...
Post-Presidency
The POW! # • by HTM '26
Typically, presidents near the end of their term are worried about how they’ll be remembered.I’m much more worried about finding my next job...
FBI's Most Wanted Children
The POW! # • by CLHC '26
8-year-old Chinese boy who had his emotions surgically...
Snoopy's B-Plot
The POW! # • by LKN '25
It’s Saint Patrick’s Day, and CHARLIE BROWN and HIS FRIENDS are searching for four-leaf shamrocks. But, every shamrock Charlie pulls turns out to be a regular rock...
Call of Duty 1969
The POW! # • by HTM '26
A foreign land. A jungle of death...
Deep Cuts
Now That’s What I Call Music! Vol. 18,482
The Unstoppable March # • by JEC '21
Track 1 – Give Me a Little Gas, SisterTrack 2 – Your Girl Got Too Much Exhaust in the Fuel DepotTrac...
Good Cop, Bad Cop, Jelly-Donut Cop
Once in a Blue Moon # • by JTB '20-22
Bad Cop: We have your fingerprints on the gun, the doorknob, and the victim, punk.
Good Cop: Hey ju...
Birthday Card
The Celebration # • by RIP '09
GRANDFATHER: Here’s a card from me. Happy birthday.
SON: Thanks, grandpa.
MOTHER: Read it aloud!
...
Next in Line Comix
The Quixotic # • by MIC '26
New Partner
Flesh & Blood # • by JFAR '19-'22
A cop’s #1 belief: I’m not gonna be the jerkoff that shoots his own partner. I live and breathe this...
Checkup
Upside Up # • by MFP '23-24
- Give it to me straight, doc.
- I’m afraid the tumor is inoperable. It’s growing too fast.
- Is t...
At the Water Cooler
Upside Up # • by MAG '21-'22
(Water cooler noises)
-Hey man.
-Hey.
(Water cooler noises)
-Whatcha drinking there?
-Water.
...
Barbershop Quartet
Nantucket Sleighride # • by ZDG '20
Lead: Fellas, meet the new fifth member of our quartet–Tom!
Bass: Swell to meet ya Tom!
Baritone: ...
Choose Your Own Adventure
Mutually Assured Destruction # • by JGB '25
You are feeling awfully hungry today. What would you like to eat?
> A ham sandwich. Keep readin...
TV Salesman
For Your Consideration # • by ZDG '20
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his mo...
Post-Modern Family
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional # • by KMB '26
Mr. Parker marries Esmeralda, a Colombian
bombshell 20 years his senior with...
Cowboy Fantasies
Nantucket Sleighride # • by MAG '21-'22
“I’ve been having cowboy fantasies again,” I mumble, before kicking through the saloon doors looking...
