The Harvard Lampoon

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Imaginary Friends #

Imaginary Friends #

This issue is not real, but merely a figment of your imagination...

Suburbia #

This is the Suburbia # because I grew up in the suburbs, and also because the only thing I’m afraid ...

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Crimson Parody

The Harvard Lampoon's Fall 2024 parody of the Crimson

The Latest

A Letter To The Suburbs

Suburbia # • by RYSL

Dear Suburbs, You are my roots; I owe you everything. You molded me into the man that the city too...

Suburbia # • by CYL '26

Most people move to Hogtown for the good public schools. They either come for that or Larry the 2,0...

Imaginary Friends # • by MSS ’25

Joey Chestnut is a competitive eater and sixteen-time winner...

Day in the Life Comix

The Quixotic # • by IKI '26

Morning Announcements

Suburbia # • by SEH '26

Good morning Vietnam! No, it's not Robin Williams. I know everyone gets excited every time I do that...

The Quixotic # • by RYSL

The national draft is underway, and as an amputee I’m terrified of active combat. Thankfully, I’m in...

Suburbia # • by VG

For our anniversary, my husband Thomas got me a new sink. It’s almost as if he’s trying to test me...

Lover in the Night Comix

The Quixotic # • by AMC '23

Suburbia # • by EAT '24

I walk in the door, yoga pants bunched tight around my middle-aged buttocks. My husband thinks I’m g...

The Summer I Turned Into Danny DeVito

Suburbia # • by CYL '26

My mom used to tell me that I just had to wait for puberty to hit and then I wouldn’t be ugly anymor...

The Quixotic # • by RYSL

Hey. (gurgles) You think this is allowed? (spits) It’s not even really drinking, man! Cool. How...

How To Get Delta SkyMiles Diamond Medallion Status

Imaginary Friends # • by SMR '25

Neil Klugman and Brenda Patimkin met days after...

Deep Cuts

Measuring the Length of my Penis

The ▵S=Sf – Si = ∫dQ/T # • by BWM '19-'21

*mmmm* .. (the tip of my penis extends to the 4 inch mark) “mmmmm…. just as I thought… mmm...

The Talk Throughout History

Me and My Lovers # • by MAV '23-'24

Eve: I think that’s the wrong hole.Adam: Again?? I really wish we had parents to sit us down and exp...

The Unstoppable March # • by OTLB '13

Life ‘em up, boys. That’s what our sergeant used to say. Our job was to create the biggest biome in ...

Larry’s Donation

Larry vs. the Infernal Machine # • by CDL '21

Larry inhaled for a second, let the shivers pass, and proceeded to wipe the spunk off the glossy mag...

Grass is Greener # • by MAS '18

Hey Everyone i just wanted to send out a house-wide email to alert you of a Special problem that has...

Grass is Greener # • by MAS '18

Want to stop mowing your lawn like a quivering pussy? Then shut the fuck up and buy the GRASS-FUCKER...

Mutually Assured Destruction # • by EBC '22-'23

Our sex dolls are here to provide a story. Fulfill a fantasy. Re-fill a hole. Each doll comes with a...

Dead of Night # • by AJ '18

Me: Hello, I’m here to catch the midnight train to Georgia. Station Manager: Well, it will be here ...

The ▵S=Sf – Si = ∫dQ/T # • by BWM '19-'21

Legend has it while serving in the trenches in WWI Wittgenstein would masturbate to math. German So...

Upside Up # • by SAB '24

- $5 for the right half of your front door. - I’m sorry, who are you? - A new customer. $5. Final ...

How McDonalds Came Up With Grimace

One Last Dance # • by JRD '22-'23

Businessman: As I was saying, what do kids love? Characters! We just ran with that. Businesswoman: ...

Answering Machine

For Your Consideration # • by GPL '21-'22

– (pickup) Hello? – Doc?! Is that you? It’s Billy. – The Doctor is in! What’s up? – (angrily) Wh...