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Crimson Parody
Fall '25
The Lampoon's Fall 2025 parody of the Harvard Crimson
The Latest
Intervention Letter
The Posthumous Writings of B.R. Tanglord # • by DKN ’27
Tanglord, I'm here because I love you. I know we haven't talked in a bit, but it's not like I haven't tried. It's just that ever since we told you about beer last Thursday...
How To: Hostage Negotiation
The POW! # • by CLHC '26
The most important part of hostage negotiations is being unafraid of failure. In fact, 90% of my hostage negotiations have ended in death...
Mc Carthy In Hell
The POW! # • by HTM '26
Wait! Don’t throw me in the fire...
Barbie Gets Breast Cancer
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional # • by KMB '26
Welcome to the first support group meeting for Barbies with Cancer. Please help yourself to some Easy-Bake banana bread...
Job Application: Pizza Hut Delivery Driver
The POW! # • by The Harvard Lampoon
None of your goddam business...
Reverse PTSD
The Posthumous Writings of B.R. Tanglord # • by GMB '28
Bullets fly all around me. One hits me in the arm. Oh, God. I feel a DSTP flashback coming on. I'm about to be tortured by a memory of normal civilian life...
Profile: Dirt Bike Baby
The POW! # • by HTM '26
Some say that the most unusual thing about Dirt Bike Baby is his dirt bike...
Move Trailer
The Posthumous Writings of B.R. Tanglord # • by GCLS '27
Black screen. Little girl's voice: "There once was a man named Blood-maker...
Dear Arnold
The POW! # • by DKN ’27
Everyone we know died of STDs...
Grief Counselor
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional # • by RB '26
Pete has been struggling to find work ever since he had the optional surgery that removed his ability to understand subtlety...
What Would You Do?
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional # • by RB '26
What Would You Do? is a hidden camera show where ordinary citizens face moral dilemmas...
If I Were A Horse
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional # • by DKN ’27
I’m not a horse yet, but here’s things I will do if I become one...
Deep Cuts
Tech Support Chat
Symphonia Fantastica # • by GPL '21-'22
– Hey is this the–uh–the Niteflirt phone sex line?
– No, sorry, this is the Niteflirt phone sex lin...
The Woods
Family Friendly Comedy # • by JLN '21-22
I bring you out here at the end of summer every year. You notice that? My father did the same. My fa...
Safari
All Natural # • by BWM '19-'21
“And here you’ll see the world’s fastest animal, the cheetah. A beautiful example of nature’s abilit...
At a wedding reception
Larry vs. the Infernal Machine # • by SWR '19-'20
Well, here goes nothing… (jumps up on table) Ahem! Mr. and Mrs. Martinez, I can’t let your daughte...
Sometimes when I’m thinking…
Me and My Lovers # • by MAG '21-'22
Sometimes when I’m thinking about doing something a little devil will pop up on one of my shoulders ...
Party Store
Imaginary Friends # • by BJS ’25
Hey, Dave? You know that unicorn piñata...
Operation Enduring Freedom
For Your Consideration # • by BWM '19-'21
George Bush: Good afternoon. On my orders the United States military has begun coordinated attacks ...
Third Member Of Wham!
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional # • by LKN '25
I am the third secret member of Wham! No I am not excited to tell you that...
Algorithms
The ▵S=Sf – Si = ∫dQ/T # • by VIN '21-'22
Algorithms are all around us. You might not see or hear them, but they are present. They are there w...
One for the Road Comix
Suburbia # • by MIC '26
Nature Documentary
Mutually Assured Destruction # • by GPCP '22
“Beautiful as these fields are, they are made even more distinct by one remarkable event: the gather...
Draft Dodging
The Quixotic # • by RYSL
The national draft is underway, and as an amputee I’m terrified of active combat. Thankfully, I’m in...
