Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be a firefighter, until I learned that firefighters do not really get to play with fire. I realized this on my first day when the station went ablaze and the conjoined effort of the other firefighters’ water hoses and my flamethrower seemed to keep the fire in perfect equilibrium. And even when Chief told me I was fired I assumed that was a promotion or accolade of sorts.

In my defense, if I said I was a sword fighter you would think I fight with a sword, not that I hate swords. Firefighters hate fire. That’s how I knew I was a waterfighter. Us waterfighters are very similar to firefighters, but use fire to save people from water and have fun doing it.

Take a drowning victim for example. You could risk another life by sending someone in after them, or you could evaporate all of the water around them with fire. We are still perfecting our craft, however, as 9 times out of 10, the person drowns without us even making a dent in the water level. Well, it’s been 9 times out of 9, but we’re an optimistic group.

Come to think of it, actually, there was one man that we saved from drowning. We successfully evaporated all of the water in the shallow end, and, lo and behold, he had boiled to death long before any drowning got him.

But this job’s not all fun and games. Firefighters only gotta deal with one type of fire, we’ve got three types of water. I’ll admit normal water isn’t too bad, and ice is a cakewalk. But steam? That’ll rattle your bones. The more fire you hurl at it the stronger it gets. It’s like fighting fire with fire. Actually, now that I say it out loud, that’s something we should try.

Still, nothing is more rewarding than this job. Watching the flames bounce off the surface of the water and jump from cabana to cabana. Everyone screaming in excitement. Even the firefighters come to watch our lifesaving work.