Eugenics – The Harvard Lampoon

Flesh & Blood #

| Issue Editor: MVS '17 | Art Editor: ARC '18

Eugenics

  ASB '17

— Looks like your baby came out of the eugenics machine beautifully.

— Doctor, that is a white, blonde, blue eyed baby. How could it possibly be mine?

— That’s what the instructions said. Was that not in your order?

— No! That doesn’t make any sense. Why would I ask for that?

— I don’t know! I just assumed you wanted… you know…

— Excuse me?

— Oh my god, I really messed up. Does this make me racist?

— Yes it makes you super racist!

— Jesus, I’m so sorry. I don’t even know what to do with this baby now.

— …Does it still bounce?

— It is the bounciest baby we have ever made.

— Why don’t I go ahead and take that baby then.

— Really?

— But that doesn’t mean I don’t think this whole situation is super fucked up!

— Of course, of course. My apologies again. I think I’ve learned an important lesson today.

— Cool. If anyone needs us, we’ll be on the roof.