— Bump into a girl on your way to class.

— Drop your hot dogs on the ground.

— Get on the ground by tripping on the slippery hot dogs.

— Take the textbooks out of your backpack.

— Politely ask the girl to “just shove the hot dogs in here. Yeah, really get them in there.”

— Demonstrate what you mean by inserting a hot dog in one of the carved-out, hot dog-shaped compartments inside each of your textbooks.

— Romantically guide the girl’s hand by holding up two hot dogs like an air traffic controller who lands hot dogs instead of airplanes.

— Ask for the girl’s name. This will lighten the mood.

— There’s a good chance her name is “Hall Monitor,” and she wants to see your “hall pass.”

— Inspect every hot dog, in case one of them is a cylindrical hall pass.

— Make a break for it, because your hall pass is soaked in hot dog juice and illegible.

— Leave a decoy trail of hot dogs for the girl to follow.

— There’s only one way out, so the decoy trail and your actual trail are identical.

— Mid-chase, the girl’s ponytail drops to reveal her luscious locks. Provide her a hair net to protect the few hot dogs you have left.

— If the girl offers to eat a hot dog with you Lady and the Tramp-style, brush away her hand: “No, these franks are 100% raw.”

— Go back to your single, sexy, Brazilian hot dog vendor named Allesandra and ask he