– …and now that I’ve got you, I’ll be your judge, jury, and executioner.
– Wait, so I’ll still get a trial?
– Of course. And I’ll be your attorney. So, what’s being arrested like? I’m also the court reporter.
– It’s a little confusing.
– Back off! No questioning my client. Let’s talk shop. Did you do it?
– Are you my lawyer right now? Or the judge?
– Ahh! You caught me! Okay, now I’m your lawyer.
– Okay. How am I getting off?
– First, you weren’t read your Miranda rights by that moron waste-of-life cop.
– Which was you.
– Plus, you can call a mistrial because the judge and your lawyer have been drinking.
– I think I’m going to leave.
– Shh. We need to be quiet. The bailiff is about to speak. All rise for honorable Judge Murray. Let me tell you right now, Judge. That man is guilty. I object, your honor. He has no evidence. Oh shut up Jack, we both know he’s headed to the clink. He’ll go to jail over my dead body you son of a bitch!