Shortly before the end of WWII, Hitler sent a last ditch telegram to the President of Mexico asking him to join the Nazi cause. Here is the transcription of the message:

¡Hola! It’s been a while, huh? Feels like just yesterday we were hanging out on your awesome yacht with all the other presidents. Work has been muy busy (I’m sure you’ve heard about the war), and I have a quick favor to ask. But first, there’s something I have to get off my chest.

Remember that time we were sailing by Palermo? You probably know what I’m about to say (eek!), but I asked you to get me a beer, and then I pantsed you as soon as you got up. Well, I just wanted to say sorry about that. Not cool, like, at all.

It was a huge breach of trust that the guys and I got to see you in your tighty-whities, and when you tripped over your pants while trying to walk away, I shouldn’t have started pouring drinks on you to make it look like you peed your pants. That’s just not the type of guy I am, despite what you may have heard in the news recently.

Which brings me to my next point: remember afterwards when we all called you ‘tighty-whity Tim’ for the rest of the trip? Obviously we know your name isn’t Tim. And when you asked us not to call you Tim, and I said “Sorry...” then paused for a while before going “...Tim,” it wasn’t funny at all. No wonder you kicked us off your boat after two weeks of that nonsense.

Basically, thanks for taking it all on the chin. It takes a big man to deal with stuff like that, and I think it goes to show how much of a trooper you are. Plus, don’t tell anyone I said this, but the only reason I joke around with you is because you’re the guy I feel most comfortable with. So, when I ask this, I really mean it from the bottom of my heart: can you please invade the US? They’re really fucking us over in Germany right now, and if you don’t, I’ll probably kill myself. Thanks man, you’re the best.

Your pal,
Hitler