Jobbly-joobly;

jibbly, jobbly.

Ah, yes. You came here for the Jibbly origin story. Well, I’m sorry to say that I can only tell you about Jibbly’s dear twin brother, Jobbly. They were separated at birth. That’s right, Jibbly was on Dancing with the Stars—gosh, he’s such a good dancer. Jobbly is an accountant. He dances with numbers. His body can’t froth it up, though.

Jobbly wishes he had liquidity of body like his smooth, smooth brother does. Jobbly does have one cool thing about him: he’s ambidextrous. He types the word “write-off” with both hands, or whatever a tax accountant does. Unfortunately, the stroke hit his more ambidextrous side harder. “Jobbly! We got a Jobbly ova here!” That’s what they say when Jobbly is on the street corner looking to hand out tax forms. Jobbly is one letter away from Jobby but Jobbly is unemployed.

Jobbly can make all of your student debt disappear with a sheet of paper. He slips the paper to the woman at the front desk of the collections office; it’s a death threat. A genius like Jobbly is bound to be employed soon.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: What kind of woman might have birthed these two of seven world wonders? Her name is Mrs. Jerbly. Mrs. Jerbly is thriving. She’s doing extremely well. She has a second home on Manchester by the Sea and her husband bought her and her seven daughters matching pearl necklaces for Christmas. She gave up Jibbly and Jobbly for adoption because she had been raped.