Joey Chestnut is a competitive eater and sixteen-time winner of the annual Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest. 
I’m the Joey Chestnut of basketball. 
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Do I perhaps dunk basketballs in ranch before wolfing them down whole in twenty-four seconds flat? 
No. That would make me the Joey Chestnut of eating basketballs. I’m the Joey Chestnut of basketball. 
What does this mean? Picture Joey Chestnut with a hot dog in his hands. He’s about to swallow it whole. Now, replace that hot dog with a basketball, and imagine Joey Chestnut is not planning to eat it. That’s me. The Joey Chestnut of basketball. 
If you’re still confused, imagine Michael Jordan suspended two feet in the air, about to take the iconic game-winning shot in Game 5 of the 1989 Eastern Conference First Round Series between the Chicago Bulls and the Cleveland Cavaliers. Now, replace Michael Jordan with Joey Chestnut. Are you starting to get the picture? 
Are you still confused? Let me give you a different example. Imagine that I am the Tiger Woods of steaks. Are you imagining Tiger Woods holding a tomahawk ribeye instead of a nine iron? If so, you’re really starting to get the hang of this. 
Now, replace Tiger Woods with Joey Chestnut, and replace the tomahawk ribeye with a basketball. 
If you’re still confused, don’t blame me. I never claimed to be the Joey Chestnut of explaining things well. I’m just the Joey Chestnut of basketball.

Joey Chestnut is a competitive eater and sixteen-time winner...

Joey Chestnut

Heyy! sorry i feel like i was talking ur ear off last night about all the different new types of meditation ive come up w hahaha, but i didnt
have time to tell u the most important one and i j had to text u about it. anyway it’s called bug meditation. basically u wanna find urself a bunch of ants, collect them into a nice pile, and just sort of pull their legs off one by one. and u wanna focus on ur breathing as u do this. it doesn’t really matter much whether u finish taking the legs off one ant before moving onto the next, bc the point of the exercise is rly just to take the legs off the bugs. like u could honestly use one millipede instead of a pile of ants and it would be essentially the same idea. or like if u were planning to do a pile of 20 ants but only had spiders available u could do a pile of 15 spiders and the legs math would work out. but yea i personally find it soooo therapeutic to torture bugs, not in a psycho way hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha-
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hahahahahahahahahahahahaha but more in like a “urgh! i just hate bugs so much! yuck!” kinda way. anyway, i hope ur uncle’s doing ok, sounded like a pretty serious accident. glad i could help by not crying even a little bit when you had to leave our date early. and id love to see u again when ur free :) ill bring the ants

Heyy! sorry i feel like i was talking ur ear off last night about all the different new types of meditation ive come up w hahaha...

Bug Date

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Matt Sakiyama.css-1xlpnei{margin:0px -15px 0px 6px;width:11px;vertical-align:-14px;}

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