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Pieces
Words to Console a Grieving Friend
21
FOD '24 • September 2021
We’ve all been there, Gam-gam’s down for the count and you’re tongue-tied. Read b…
SNOWED IN
10
ZDG '20 • January 2020
Operator: 911, what’s your emergency? Me: I’m… stuck, in my cabin. I need human…
Crying in the Rain
3
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
And I mean yeah they can’t see you cry in the rain, but shit right through your pants? People…
Whack-A-Mole
78
FOD '24 • January 2022
I walk in every morning and the arcade carny asks me, “what’ll it be?” I reply…
Frogs
70
AMC '23 •
Lifeguarding
15
MAG '21-'22 • December 2018
Lifeguard: (sips smoothie) I’m just saying: if your kid was “drowning in the deep end&r…
Escape Room
63
MFP '23-24 • March 2023
— (To microphone in the corner of the room) Excuse me? We’re stumped. Could we get a hi…
Leisure Corner
GPL '21-'22 • March 2020
Welcome to the Leisure Suit’s Larry’s Leisure Corner. Sit down. Relax. Take a break fro…
Hammurabi
15
ZDG '20 • July 2021
After the success of his first 282 laws, the Babylonian lawgiver released a less popular but more n…
Visit California
134
EAT '24 • May 2022
Waxing Thoughts
65
YMC '21-'22 • January 2022
“I understand your pain. I’ve gone through the same thing”:– the woman wa…
My Speech For Tonight
35
RIP '09 • October 2008
Hi everyone. I’m Jess’s father. Thank you all for coming to Jess’s sweet sixteen.…
Package Delivery FAQ
27
JGB '25 •
Q: I had issues receiving the correct product. What should I do? A: Name which of the following sc…
Lolita
102
NGH '23 • December 2022
Lolita, light of my life, I feel fire in my loins. I lit my underwear on fire for you, Lolita. No o…
Glossary of Future Terms
10
MAG '21-'22 • July 2021
Welcome to the Year 2435! Please step off the portal platform. Here are some words you’ll nee…
Whale Watching
11
HJH '19 • October 2020
Guide: And here we have a FULL ORCA BREACH FOLKS A FULL BREACH! 9 O’CLOCK!!! Crowd: Wow! Ga…
My First Kiss
32
JPW '21 • September 2020
I pick up this girl Julia in my car, and I’m doing 90 on Lincoln Avenue, you know, batting ma…
New Partner
20
JFAR '19-'22 • January 2016
A cop’s #1 belief: I’m not gonna be the jerkoff that shoots his own partner. I live and…
From the Creators of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!"
118
LKN '25 • December 2023
“I Can Totally See This Being Mayonnaise” Margarine “It’s For My Windshiel…
Times That an Extinction-Level Nuclear War Would Really Suck
59
SAB '24 • May 2022
- One day before technology that makes everyone live forever is invented - One hour before all the…
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