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Pieces

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Hamilton
101
October 2020
This is the real story of something that occurred to me in 2008. John Weidman ‘68: I hear we…
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Fat Camp
March 2019
My parents said they knew I could lose the weight on my own, but it’d be so much easier for t…
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Tom and Jerry Spec Script
3
October 2020
Tom is strolling along the railroad tracks, whistling a happy tune. Jerry walks parallel to Tom on …
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Mr. 305
12
September 2021
Ever had somebody tell you that you looked like a celebrity? For some it’s a blessing, but fo…
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Crowdsourcing Request
December 2020
Hey Guys!I’m sending you this email to invite you to help with my crowdfunding campaign. I&r…
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‘Tucket
87
June 2020
Hot Babes. Everywhere. Oyster season baby. Oyster. Fucking. Season. Summer on the ‘Tuck. If y…
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My Dog and All My Coworkers’ Dogs All Got Food Poisoning From the Office Dog Food Stash and It Was Really Awful and Sad
14
September 2021
Monday Me: (crying at desk).Lisa: Sorry to hear about your Maltese dog, Doug. When my su…
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Relax
10
October 2018
Welcome to my zen meditation studio, kemosabe. Now get those clothes off and get on the table, the …
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World’s Luckiest & Most Depressed Person
60
January 2022
Pam Jensen woke up just like she did every other day – at the exact moment that she could see…
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Amnesia
October 2019
– John? I mean uh, excuse me random stranger? – What do you want? – I have amne…
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Stars
3
June 2021
-Wow, you’re right, stargazing is pretty cool. -Stare long enough, and apparently you start …
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The Woods
45
November 2019
I bring you out here at the end of summer every year. You notice that? My father did the same. My f…
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Birthday Card
October 2008
GRANDFATHER: Here’s a card from me. Happy birthday. SON: Thanks, grandpa. MOTHER: Read it a…
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Midnight Train
December 2020
Me: Hello, I’m here to catch the midnight train to Georgia. Station Manager: Well, it will b…
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Operation Enduring Freedom
October 2020
George Bush:  Good afternoon. On my orders the United States military has begun coordinated at…
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The Beat Generation
1
March 2019
Jazz flowed from the streets in the 50s. We swam naked in the churches. We prayed in the oceans. We…
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The Guys Who Invented Ping Pong
July 2021
GUY 1: Check this out…(opens up the game PONG on Atari)GUY 2: Woah! (plays PONG)GUY 1: If on…
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Gun Show
July 2021
Turbus: And this here is the Heckler and Koch SR9, with extra bolt-action to make your kills absolu…