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Pieces

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Hamilton
101
October 2020
This is the real story of something that occurred to me in 2008. John Weidman ‘68: I hear we…
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Dear Historians,
March 2020
At the time of writing, the COVID-19 pandemic has brought the world to a standstill. Though the Lam…
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Gorilla Larry
16
October 2020
– Woo wooo  eeh  ahhh  wooo  *feeds on stems*. – There he is, what…
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President’s Little Helper
23
September 2021
Chief of Staff: Mr. President, he’s here. The solution to all of our problems. &nbs…
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The Last Tiger’s Deathbed
23
May 2021
It was a rainy night in November and at the Bronx Zoo a crowd of hundreds of thousands braved the e…
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Chimney Sweep
22
January 2017
Chimney sweeping is what I was born to do since I have no arms or legs. Doctors called my missing l…
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Leisure Corner
March 2020
Welcome to the Leisure Suit’s Larry’s Leisure Corner. Sit down. Relax. Take a break fro…
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Bulimia Recovery Clinic
62
March 2022
My parents decided to send me to the public Bulimia Recovery Clinic over in Toad Suck, Arkansas the…
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Bronze Age Teen Drama
10
July 2021
Open on a mother and a son. In front of a forge. The work is hard, and the hours are long. -Mom, I…
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City Nights, 3029
11
May 2022
It’s Saturday night, and I’m looking for trouble. Shades. Scowl. Leather jacket in all …
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Hottest Girls In School
10
December 2021
And, action.  Open on the Three Hottest Girls in school, walking in unison, places in all the…
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Tales of Vengeance
10
September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
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Lifeguarding
December 2018
Lifeguard: (sips smoothie) I’m just saying: if your kid was “drowning in the deep end&r…
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Rare
December 2020
Some things are less rare than you think. Winning the Lottery My friend Rigley won the lottery ye…
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Churchill
10
July 2021
Winston Churchill, known for all of his political and military accomplishments, was also a Nobel Pr…
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New Partner
9
January 2016
A cop’s #1 belief: I’m not gonna be the jerkoff that shoots his own partner. I live and…
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Dialogue Options in Fallout: New Cambridge
23
May 2022
Stranger: Hey there traveler! Is there anything I can help you with?   [1] I’m very hu…