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Pieces

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Snails Need Love Too
November 2019
A darkly handsome bladesman stood at the edge of the clearing. I didn’t recognize him, but hi…
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Barbershop Quartet
January 2020
Lead: Fellas, meet the new fifth member of our quartet–Tom! Bass: Swell to meet ya Tom! Bar…
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Paul McCartney Hyping Himself Up Outside of Ricky’s Pub Before Naming The Beatles – July 14, 1958, Liverpool
August 2019
Okay Paul. You’ve got this mate. You’re gonna go in there, you’re gonna march rig…
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Answering Machine
October 2020
– (pickup) Hello? – Doc?! Is that you? It’s Billy.  – The Doctor is …
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The Beat Generation
2
March 2019
Jazz flowed from the streets in the 50s. We swam naked in the churches. We prayed in the oceans. We…
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Toss Me Off The Edge, Then, Why Don’t You?
August 2020
Oh, sure. Back me up further to the edge of the boat. I don’t mind. Are you pissed? You seem …
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The C5 Beer Pong Table Piece
December 2019
So you’re in the market for a custom Beer Pong Table, preferably in the C4 through C6 range, …
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The Talk Throughout History
10
November 2020
Eve: I think that’s the wrong hole.Adam: Again?? I really wish we had parents to sit us down …
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Classical Conditioning
48
January 2022
Alright class, today we’re going to cover something called classical conditioning. Can I get …
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Excerpts From the Great American Novel
74
February 2020
It was time for them to head west with just the shirts on their backs and the shirts on their legs.…
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Sunglasses
December 2020
I was so excited when I got my first pair of sun-glasses, because I was able to see things tha…
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Letter to Roosevelt
January 2020
In 1939, at the urging of physicist Leo Szilárd, Einstein wrote a letter to FDR, informing h…
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Kindergarten
October 2020
Hello, is this the mother of Steve Austin? The stone cold professional wrestler? The 54 year old ma…
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Relax
10
October 2018
Welcome to my zen meditation studio, kemosabe. Now get those clothes off and get on the table, the …
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Times That an Extinction-Level Nuclear War Would Really Suck
18
May 2022
- One day before technology that makes everyone live forever is invented - One hour before all the…
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The Black Death
37
March 2022
- Anne, mine old friend, I… I hast been touch'd by the bubonic plague.- Nay! Prithee, Margar…
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King of Smooth
21
December 2021
You’re down in the dumps, sad about your boyfriend leaving you for a prettier, more confident…
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Yearbook Signing
May 2021
-Hey Brad, want me to sign your yearbook? -Of course, Dylan! Good luck at Dartmouth next year. We&…
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Proposal
December 2020
A successful relationship is about listening. That’s why, when my longtime girlfriend started…