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Pieces

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Rare
December 2020
Some things are less rare than you think. Winning the Lottery My friend Rigley won the lottery ye…
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Now That’s What I Call Music! Vol. 18,482
July 2021
Track 1 – Give Me a Little Gas, SisterTrack 2 – Your Girl Got Too Much Exhaust in the F…
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No More Sheriffs
4
May 2018
Happy Saturday everyone – good to see you at the town meeting. All our sheriffs died last nig…
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Johnny Adventure, Space Cashier
43
It’s the future, but not so far in the future that cashiers are obsolete. We open on our prot…
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That Guy
March 2020
-Hey, who is that?-That guy, over there? I don’t know.-He must be pretty important-What makes…
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Book Discussion
14
September 2021
Teacher: Greg, could you open discussion on the theme of villainy in Great Expectations?G…
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Leisure Corner
March 2020
Welcome to the Leisure Suit’s Larry’s Leisure Corner. Sit down. Relax. Take a break fro…
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Cruising Altitude
1
September 2021
Good evening passengers, this is your doctor speaking. Yeah, you heard that right. Everybody know…
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Real Estate Tour
5
October 2018
-And here’s the pantry. -What’s with these marks on the wall? -We marked our son&rsqu…
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The Trial of the Decade
1
October 2020
Frankly, it seemed certain that Marco would get lunch detention. Frank Lee, our principal, along wi…
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Tales of Vengeance
11
September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
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Lolita
65
December 2022
Lolita, light of my life, I feel fire in my loins. I lit my underwear on fire for you, Lolita. No o…
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2020 International Video Game Awards Acceptance Speech
10
October 2020
Oh, thank you, really thank you so much. This award…it truly means so much to me. Well, it l…
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J. Robert Oppenheimer signs an NDA
28
October 2020
– You understand that after you sign this document you cannot discuss the Manhattan Proj…
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The Life of a Cowboy
75
December 2020
I was only five years old when my grandpappy taught me how to shoot a gun. “Pull the trigger …
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One Man Show
13
August 2021
The janitor was diligently color-coding dust when the director burst in. “Mort, none of the a…
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Barbershop Quartet
January 2020
Lead: Fellas, meet the new fifth member of our quartet–Tom! Bass: Swell to meet ya Tom! Bar…
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Chimney Sweep
27
January 2017
Chimney sweeping is what I was born to do since I have no arms or legs. Doctors called my missing l…
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Waxing Thoughts
53
January 2022
“I understand your pain. I’ve gone through the same thing”:– the woman wa…