Artwork: DL '25

Mime Hero

Author: EB '24
As seen in: Justice Is Served #

Lawyer: Hey sir, I know you’re on the clock, but you really need to talk right now. A flower? You’re picking a flower? No, man, it’s not about flowers. Seriously, just say it with me, “I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.” 

You won’t swear on the Bible? Oh, do you need the Torah? Woah, definitely not the Torah then. You could’ve just shaken your head. Judge, can we just go with it? Awesome. So, Mr. Clarke, all evidence points to you using your mime business as a front for performing back alley abortions, what do you have to say about this? 

Nothing? Oh, you’re in a box, okay. Perhaps, a box of lies? Jury, take note of the box of lies Mr. Clarke is encased in. 

Woah, where are you going? Judge, wait judge, he’s escaping. Bailiffs! Bailiffs he’s esca--oh he’s back. Phew. I had no idea there were stairs back there. Don’t roll your eyes. Everyone saw that, right? Mr. Clarke was walking down stairs only he has access to, probably down into hell, from where he came. 

You’re...what are you doing now--are you pulling on a rope? Oh my god. Jury, he’s pulling an umbilical cord. You’re sick. You’re a sick man -- oh, wait, oh it’s an IV? You healed the babies? Are you miming delivering sick babies and nursing them back to health? Oh my god, you’re incredible. Jury, I withdraw my previous remarks. I think this man is innocent. I think this man is a hero. 

Mime: (signs “I performed over a hundred abortions and would do it again”)