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About
Read
Pieces
Magazines
Books
Comp
Masthead
Contact
Home
About
Read
Pieces
Magazines
Books
Comp
Masthead
Contact
Pieces
Operation Enduring Freedom
BWM '19-'21
October 2020
George Bush: Good afternoon. On my orders the United States military has begun coordinated at…
Driving to a Burger Joint
CAS '12
October 2018
“You gonna bring the shit tonight or what?” Simon was riding shotgun in Bill Shi…
A Day in the Life of Hamish Olsen, New York, 19
33
CDL '21
December 2020
She looked at him like a deer in headlights might look at someone if it had human eyes. Hamish had …
Waterboy
82
NGH '23
January 2022
It’s my first day as waterboy. The rest of staff is nowhere to be found, so I guess I gotta…
Placebo
29
JTK '24
May 2022
Ghost Hunters
32
MMM '20
December 2020
School’s out, plan is a go. It’s officially Halloween. My parents think I&r…
Classical Conditioning
48
MFP '23-24
January 2022
Alright class, today we’re going to cover something called classical conditioning. Can I get …
Bad Days
10
MAG '21-'22
October 2020
– When Dad broke out of jail and decided to hold his second family hostage instead of ours. …
Commercial Shoot
CDL '21
December 2020
-Listen, kid. This is easy. Just read off the teleprompter, and we’re golden. Start whenever.…
Yo Mama So Fat
24
JFAR '19-'22
April 2019
-…is the best way I thought I could begin breaking this news, Timmy. I’m so sorry. She…
Glossary of Future Terms
10
MAG '21-'22
July 2021
Welcome to the Year 2435! Please step off the portal platform. Here are some words you’ll nee…
The Taco Bell on Beverly
1
HBF '19
January 2020
“Where are you going?” you ask the homeless man wandering down San Vicente. “Don&…
My Feminism
AJ '18
December 2020
Even though it’s harder than ever before to be a woman, it’s easier than ever to be a f…
The Count of Monte Cristo Returns to Marseilles
ASB '17
December 2020
Count: People of Marseilles! For twenty years you unfairly imprisoned me. Now behold my immens…
Blockbuster
12
MAG '21-'22
October 2020
The year is 2004. It’s Friday in 2004. You head to the Blockbuster in 2004 with your dad to r…
WWE
ASB '17
December 2020
Announcer: In the red corner, he’s your favorite all-American punisher, it’s Joe &ldquo…
D-Day Picnic
ZDG '20
June 2020
Soldiers: (storm the beach) (lots of explosions) Father: What the heck we’re having a picnic…
A Taste of My Own Medicine
8
YMC '21-'22
October 2020
Most people don’t believe this, but my job wasn’t always swindling terminally-ill peopl…
Love Song
MFP '23-24
November 2020
This next song goes out to Janet Fisher, a very special girl in my life. Janet are you here tonight…
Judge, Jury, and Executioner
TAF '19
December 2020
…and now that I’ve got you, I’ll be your judge, jury, and executioner. Wait, …
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