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Pieces

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Missy Manners
Josh Lieb '93
November 2020
Okay, so you’re in the cafeteria. They’re serving peas. The boy across from you is thro…
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St. Louis Children’s Theatre Production Company
March 2019
Hello kids, thanks for coming out to audition. First, a little bit about me. My unrelenting passion…
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Date Ideas
1
November 2020
-Tap Dancing Summer Intensive-Battle it out in a kite flying competition-Try lettuce for the first …
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World Famous Worm
40
December 2021
We had barely started the road trip when we started seeing the signs advertising the ‘World&r…
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Inventing the Wheel
8
July 2021
Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you… the wheel! (Roaring applause) Just what exac…
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Half Day
March 2019
Good afternoon, parents. Principal Mueller here calling to inform you that your student has been re…
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President Nice Guy
14
December 2020
Richard Holton, our first Nice Guy president, eased out of the womb on December 24, 1921, giving do…
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Midnight Train
December 2020
Me: Hello, I’m here to catch the midnight train to Georgia. Station Manager: Well, it will b…
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Teacher’s Note
16
July 2021
Dear Parent, If you are receiving this note it means that your child has been enrolled in my class…
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Antidepressants
142
January 2022
What they don’t tell you about starting antidepressants is that sometimes you’ll try to…
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Apology to the Reader’s of Squid Digest’s April 2013 Issue
September 2020
Readers, we would like to retract a statement we made in our most recent issue. After multiple onli…
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Staring Contest
June 2020
Today is the big day I prove to everyone down by the pond that I’m tough enough to be here, a…
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My Feminism
December 2020
Even though it’s harder than ever before to be a woman, it’s easier than ever to be a f…
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Film Noir
December 2020
The year was December 17th, winter to be exact. Outside my office it was a wet, dark afternoon&mdas…
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Reddit History
June 2020
Comment on New Zelda Game Out! by /u/bowzrrr999 in /r/nintendo [–] GREG_THE_MAN  0 poin…
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A Retelling of Jaws By Someone Who Has Definitely Seen It
6
October 2020
Jaws…yes. Jaws is the story of a very big shark. Everyone knows that. Especially those who h…
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My Anime Fanfiction
1
November 2020
You wake up in your high school dorm. Umaru-chan, your roommate / stepsister who is also your girlf…
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Surf Trip
10
December 2020
I’ll never forget the summer I road-tripped to Hawaii with my two best friends. While it star…
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Tuxedo
September 2020
Glad I’ve got someone interested in buying Tuxedo. My father died in this tuxedo, and then it…