The Harvard Lampoon

122

JRD '22-'23 • July 2021

Open on a mother and a son. In front of a forge. The work is hard, and the hours are long. -Mom, I…

MFP '23-24 • July 2021

Dear Parent, If you are receiving this note it means that your child has been enrolled in my class…

Kindergarten

GPL '21-'22 • October 2020

Hello, is this the mother of Steve Austin? The stone cold professional wrestler? The 54 year old ma…

Whale Watching

HJH '19 • October 2020

Guide: And here we have a FULL ORCA BREACH FOLKS A FULL BREACH! 9 O’CLOCK!!! Crowd: Wow! Ga…

LKN '25 • December 2023

-Hello class, today we have a new student. He was raised by wolves. -Hi, everyone. I’m Drew.…

Crazy Parents

JBO '10 • October 2008

CRAZY PARENTS are a huge problem for all of us. But are your parents crazy in a comedy way, or a re…

Bad Days

MAG '21-'22 • October 2020

– When Dad broke out of jail and decided to hold his second family hostage instead of ours. …

CYL '26 • December 2023

My mom used to tell me that I just had to wait for puberty to hit and then I wouldn’t be ugly…

LKN '25 • March 2023

This message is addressed to Presley, Elvis. Dear Sir: You are hereby notified that you have been…

Family

JPW '21 • October 2020

I’ve got a crazy family — two brothers, four sisters, three half-brothers, one quarter-…

Reddit History

MAG '21-'22 • June 2020

Comment on New Zelda Game Out! by /u/bowzrrr999 in /r/nintendo [–] GREG_THE_MAN 0 poin…

MAG '21-'22 • September 2021

For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …

MAG '21-'22 • March 2020

“I’ve been having cowboy fantasies again,” I mumble, before kicking through the s…

Squigley

GPCP '22 • December 2021

Carl Squigley always had his nose buried in a book, which was buried in a still-flushing toilet. He…

Pieces