- Environmental protection would be bipartisan.
- In the fall, you could substitute real money with Monopoly money without anyone noticing.
- “Boy” in Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree would be pissed that his tree only gives apples.
- The Magic Tree House series would’ve missed the very purpose of a tree house.
- Caterpillars would be an existential threat to global financial stability.
- When you’re traveling, you wouldn’t have to stress if a shopkeeper told you that you’d have to convert your U.S. dollars to the Icelandic krona to the Manx pound. You’d just exchange different types of leaves instead.
- The Great Depression would repeat itself every winter.
- That kid who disappeared in the woods when you were little would probably be doing just fine for himself.
- Counterfeit bills would never work thanks to DNA testing.
- The highest burglary rates would be in rural, unpopulated areas.
- The greatest trait produced by evolution would be giraffes’ long necks.
- The study of plants would be called economics.
- 1 in every 5 banknotes would be stained with bird shit.
- Your gardener would be your financial advisor.
- The Sierra Club wouldn’t be a non-profit.
- The U.S. wouldn’t have needed to intervene in the Middle East.
- The tree that fell on your house during the storm would be able to pay for the damage.
- The Department of Education’s suggested punishment of “raking leaves at a local park” wouldn’t teach those students anything.
- Landscaping would still be just for rich people.
