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Pieces

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TV Show Taglines
October 2019
-Babies vs. Cars: Will the underdog keep losing? -A car? Versus a baby? -This baby specifically d…
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Missy Manners
Josh Lieb '93
November 2020
Okay, so you’re in the cafeteria. They’re serving peas. The boy across from you is thro…
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thegreatcoming2000.blogspot.com
12
May 2022
January 2, 2000I know, I know, elephant in the room. I said the world was going to end at the dawn …
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One Man Car Wash
June 2020
– (standing on street corner with buckets of water, some rags, and a ‘Car Wash’ s…
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Cryobank Waiting Room
148
October 2020
-       First time? -       Yeah. Gotta pay rent somehow.  - &…
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Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me
September 2020
Peter Sagal: Thaaaanks Bill, it’s the week between Christmas and new years and we here at Wai…
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No More Sheriffs
1
May 2018
Happy Saturday everyone – good to see you at the town meeting. All our sheriffs died last nig…
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Times That an Extinction-Level Nuclear War Would Really Suck
18
May 2022
- One day before technology that makes everyone live forever is invented - One hour before all the…
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Life After the Lampoon
18
August 2019
Conan O’Brien: Juan, congrats on graduating! Here, take this. Me: Wow, another Ferrari! Con…
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Tuxedo
September 2020
Glad I’ve got someone interested in buying Tuxedo. My father died in this tuxedo, and then it…
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Goin’ West
December 2020
Uh oh. I did it again. Fell asleep after all the kids got on the bus, so now I gotta get all these …
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Proposal
December 2020
A successful relationship is about listening. That’s why, when my longtime girlfriend started…
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My Speech For Tonight
9
October 2008
Hi everyone. I’m Jess’s father. Thank you all for coming to Jess’s sweet sixteen.…
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My Dog and All My Coworkers’ Dogs All Got Food Poisoning From the Office Dog Food Stash and It Was Really Awful and Sad
14
September 2021
Monday Me: (crying at desk).Lisa: Sorry to hear about your Maltese dog, Doug. When my su…
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Whack-A-Mole
74
January 2022
I walk in every morning and the arcade carny asks me, “what’ll it be?” I reply…
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World’s Luckiest & Most Depressed Person
60
January 2022
Pam Jensen woke up just like she did every other day – at the exact moment that she could see…
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Larry was there.
October 2020
Larry was there. Larry saw the flashes as the troposphere lit on fire, the sounds the bombs made as…
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The Dust Bowl
December 2020
Football is not what it used to be. During my golden years, AKA the Great Depression, we were all i…
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At The Airport With My Least Favorite Uncle
5
April 2020
Uncle: Hey, Martin! Martin! Sit with me! Martin: I gotta get on my plane. Uncle: Where’re y…
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Good Cop, Bad Cop, Jelly-Donut Cop
December 2020
Bad Cop: We have your fingerprints on the gun, the doorknob, and the victim, punk. Good Cop: Hey j…