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Pieces

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Proposal
1
December 2020
A successful relationship is about listening. That’s why, when my longtime girlfriend started…
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Psychic Argument
23
Psychic 1: I told you, I don’t know what happened to your dog! Psychic 2: Then why did I see…
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Cowboy Fantasies
4
March 2020
“I’ve been having cowboy fantasies again,” I mumble, before kicking through the s…
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Why I Wish I Was a Green Boy Instead of a Blue Boy
December 2020
I was born a blue boy, but my whole life I’ve wanted to be a big green boy. Green boys get to…
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Gun Show
July 2021
Turbus: And this here is the Heckler and Koch SR9, with extra bolt-action to make your kills absolu…
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Crazy Parents
1
October 2008
CRAZY PARENTS are a huge problem for all of us. But are your parents crazy in a comedy way, or a re…
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Dating Simulator
15
August 2021
It’s the first day at Romance Academy. A new student introduces herself to you: Mitzi, eighte…
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Tuxedo
September 2020
Glad I’ve got someone interested in buying Tuxedo. My father died in this tuxedo, and then it…
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Barbershop Quartet
January 2020
Lead: Fellas, meet the new fifth member of our quartet–Tom! Bass: Swell to meet ya Tom! Bar…
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A Retelling of Jaws By Someone Who Has Definitely Seen It
10
October 2020
Jaws…yes. Jaws is the story of a very big shark. Everyone knows that. Especially those who h…
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Cold War Frat Boy
300111
May 2022
Nuclear warheads dropping near the die table. Bombs away, babes. Time for a quick game to 11 before…
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2020 International Video Game Awards Acceptance Speech
10
October 2020
Oh, thank you, really thank you so much. This award…it truly means so much to me. Well, it l…
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If Money Grew On Trees
13
- Environmental protection would be bipartisan. - In the fall, you could substitute real money wit…
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My Cult
1
June 2021
If you’re thinking about joining a classic, hardcore, intense kind of cult, then only think a…
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Glossary of Future Terms
10
July 2021
Welcome to the Year 2435! Please step off the portal platform. Here are some words you’ll nee…
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Staring Contest
June 2020
Today is the big day I prove to everyone down by the pond that I’m tough enough to be here, a…
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Johnny Adventure, Space Cashier
33
It’s the future, but not so far in the future that cashiers are obsolete. We open on our prot…
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Advice on How to Deal With a Concussion From Someone With a Concussion
35
January 2022
Listen up. I’m gonna tell you a straight fact that may or may not be true and can 100% help w…
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Retirement Compound Salesman
14
November 2020
Apt. 1B: Hello there! How often have you dropped that Life Alert of yours into the toilet? At your …
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Vanitas
2
December 2020
Now that you finally have this issue in your hands, you’re probably wondering one thing and o…