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Pieces

Exam Locations
8
MJS '19   •   May 2018
Last Names A- Y: Harding Room 2121 Last Name Zanderson: Arrive at the boarded up Liquor-Max on Was…
Lou Bega Gets Married
8
PKS '21-'22   •   July 2019
A little bit of Jenieva in my life A little bit of Jenieva by my side A little bit of Jenieva is …
Things To Say If You Want To Join The Cool Table
22
GPCP '22   •   December 2021
Don’t mind me, lemme pull up a chair—backwards. My mom packs me lemon slices instead…
Gorilla Larry
18
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
– Woo wooo  eeh  ahhh  wooo  *feeds on stems*. – There he is, what…
Commercial Shoot
CDL '21   •   December 2020
-Listen, kid. This is easy. Just read off the teleprompter, and we’re golden. Start whenever.…
Morning Announcements
117
SEH '26   •   December 2023
Good morning Vietnam! No, it's not Robin Williams. I know everyone gets excited every time I do tha…
Tales of Vengeance
21
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
J. Robert Oppenheimer signs an NDA
28
CDL '21   •   October 2020
– You understand that after you sign this document you cannot discuss the Manhattan Proj…
Office Crush
70
YMC '21-'22   •   December 2022
From the moment I met Louise Arlington, I knew the girl was trouble. "Sir?", she said. My god, that…
Safari
2
BWM '19-'21   •   September 2020
“And here you’ll see the world’s fastest animal, the cheetah. A beautiful example…
Operation Enduring Freedom
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
George Bush:  Good afternoon. On my orders the United States military has begun coordinated at…
The Death of Kenzo Simmons
10
BWM '19-'21   •   May 2021
-Welcome to heaven. Please state your name, occupation, and cause of death.  -Wow, so you mus…
A Quest
3
ASB '17   •   December 2020
I’m embarking on a quest to personally give a big thumbs-up to the child who made my iPhone. …
Date Ideas
1
LRK '21-'22   •   November 2020
-Tap Dancing Summer Intensive-Battle it out in a kite flying competition-Try lettuce for the first …
Measuring the Length of my Penis
37
BWM '19-'21   •   February 2020
*mmmm* ..    (the tip of my penis extends to the 4 inch mark)    “mmm…
Vanitas
124
CLC '22-'23   •   September 2022
It gives me no joy to say that The Harvard Lampoon is in crisis. The magazine is figuratively tied …
Escape Room
63
MFP '23-24   •   March 2023
— (To microphone in the corner of the room) Excuse me? We’re stumped. Could we get a hi…
Squigley
10
GPCP '22   •   December 2021
Carl Squigley always had his nose buried in a book, which was buried in a still-flushing toilet. He…
Snails Need Love Too
1
ZDG '20   •   November 2019
A darkly handsome bladesman stood at the edge of the clearing. I didn’t recognize him, but hi…
The History of Hats
3
JPW '21   •   October 2020
There are all types of hats, like silver or classic. But hats haven’t always dominated our co…