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Pieces
Baseball Ghost
77
GPCP '22 • May 2023
I clutched my Babe Ruth card in one hand and my necronomicon in the other. “The big game&rsqu…
Film Noir
30
MMM '20 • December 2020
The year was December 17th, winter to be exact. Outside my office it was a wet, dark afternoon&mdas…
Fire Department Tour
20
SWR '19-'20 • March 2020
Fire Chief: And this here’s where we do our laundry—(alarm goes off) Oof, sorry kids, t…
Bulimia Recovery Clinic
81
YMC '21-'22 • March 2022
My parents decided to send me to the public Bulimia Recovery Clinic over in Toad Suck, Arkansas the…
My Speech For Tonight
35
RIP '09 • October 2008
Hi everyone. I’m Jess’s father. Thank you all for coming to Jess’s sweet sixteen.…
Eulogy
46
JKF '25 • September 2022
Welcome, Parishers. I am honored to speak in this holy chapel. You may call me Father Tod. I am not…
Vanitas
JLG '21 • October 2020
Dear Judging Committee for the American Society for Magazine Editors, I notice you have not been r…
SNOWED IN
10
ZDG '20 • January 2020
Operator: 911, what’s your emergency? Me: I’m… stuck, in my cabin. I need human…
Sometimes when I’m thinking…
12
MAG '21-'22 • November 2020
Sometimes when I’m thinking about doing something a little devil will pop up on one of my sho…
Van Gogh
60
JKF '25 • September 2022
“Let’s start this interview with a simple question. Van, in just a few sentences, how d…
Career Day
10
MFP '23-24 • December 2021
My dad has the coolest job ever. Everyday he comes home in a different kiss-stained uniform. Some d…
Things I Want to Tell Stacy Now That I’m No Longer In Eighth Grade
40
KMM • February 2010
– I was the one who kind of initiated the tradition of everyone hugging each other at the end…
Driving a Plane
42
EAT '24 • September 2021
As I’m driving a plane down the highway, airport control radio crackles in, “Unit 332, …
Lolita
102
NGH '23 • December 2022
Lolita, light of my life, I feel fire in my loins. I lit my underwear on fire for you, Lolita. No o…
A Letter To The Suburbs
23
RYSL • December 2023
Dear Suburbs, You are my roots; I owe you everything. You molded me into the man that the city to…
Whale Watching
11
HJH '19 • October 2020
Guide: And here we have a FULL ORCA BREACH FOLKS A FULL BREACH! 9 O’CLOCK!!! Crowd: Wow! Ga…
From the Creators of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!"
128
LKN '25 • December 2023
“I Can Totally See This Being Mayonnaise” Margarine “It’s For My Windshiel…
Costume Party
2
SWR '19-'20 • December 2020
— Hey Brenda how’s it— jesus christ dude! — Ha ha fooled ya. Don’t I…
New Best Friend
361
SEH '26 • May 2023
This guy Brian showed up in my shower last night. The water wasn’t on, he was just read…
Sleepy Sam
48
JRD '22-'23 •
Coming soon to a theater near you… (upbeat music playing) Sam Shmorganstein is a zookeeper w…
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