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Pieces
My First Kiss
32
JPW '21 • September 2020
I pick up this girl Julia in my car, and I’m doing 90 on Lincoln Avenue, you know, batting ma…
Advice on How to Deal With a Concussion From Someone With a Concussion
38
NGH '23 • January 2022
Listen up. I’m gonna tell you a straight fact that may or may not be true and can 100% help w…
Donate Broth
49
JGB '25 • May 2022
Larry takes a trip on Delta Airlines Flight 460 to Las Vegas
FSS '21 • March 2020
Patricia: Hello everyone and welcome to Delta Airlines Flight 460 to Las Vegas. My name is Patricia…
Larry Purchases a Masturbation Bot
Anonymous • March 2020
Larry: Power on Masturbation Bot 3000: (turns on, starts fingering self) Larry: Jesus&helli…
Stars
13
NGH '23 • June 2021
-Wow, you’re right, stargazing is pretty cool. -Stare long enough, and apparently you start …
Protest
47
SAB FOD • May 2023
Greetings, assembled cabinet ministers of the Soviet Union. I have a confession to make. I am not a…
Exam Locations
8
MJS '19 • May 2018
Last Names A- Y: Harding Room 2121 Last Name Zanderson: Arrive at the boarded up Liquor-Max on Was…
Game Theoretic Standoff
132
JRD '22-'23 • May 2022
- Freeze, punk! I’ve got you in my pistol’s sights. You can either come over and let me…
Office Crush
70
YMC '21-'22 • December 2022
From the moment I met Louise Arlington, I knew the girl was trouble. "Sir?", she said. My god, that…
The Count of Monte Cristo Returns to Marseilles
19
ASB '17 • December 2020
Count: People of Marseilles! For twenty years you unfairly imprisoned me. Now behold my immens…
A Gentlemanly Cop
43
DCCP '25 • May 2023
Good evening, Mademoiselle. [I tip my hat and reveal a smaller fancier hat] You’re under ar…
Bulimia Recovery Clinic
81
YMC '21-'22 • March 2022
My parents decided to send me to the public Bulimia Recovery Clinic over in Toad Suck, Arkansas the…
One Man Car Wash
10
HJH '19 • June 2020
– (standing on street corner with buckets of water, some rags, and a ‘Car Wash’ s…
New Partner
20
JFAR '19-'22 • January 2016
A cop’s #1 belief: I’m not gonna be the jerkoff that shoots his own partner. I live and…
Secret Journal
6
GPCP '22 • December 2021
-Hey, I found the quiet kid’s journal—it’s all about the popular kids and how he&…
Van Gogh
50
JKF '25 • September 2022
“Let’s start this interview with a simple question. Van, in just a few sentences, how d…
Lawnmower
21
MAS '18 • December 2020
Want to stop mowing your lawn like a quivering pussy? Then shut the fuck up and buy the GRASS-FUCKE…
President Nice Guy
30
HFJ '18 • December 2020
Richard Holton, our first Nice Guy president, eased out of the womb on December 24, 1921, giving do…
Dropping My D-Hall Tray
11
MMM '20 • October 2020
No, dude. No no no no this is not happening right now. I’ve lightly grazed the doorframe on m…
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