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Pieces
Hogtown
44
CYL '26 • December 2023
Most people move to Hogtown for the good public schools. They either come for that or Larry t…
Hit, That, Button
10
BWM '19-'21 • October 2018
“How you folks doin tonight!?” Wooot, wooooooot! “Coming at you from the city o…
Family
1
JPW '21 • October 2020
I’ve got a crazy family — two brothers, four sisters, three half-brothers, one quarter-…
Office Crush
70
YMC '21-'22 • December 2022
From the moment I met Louise Arlington, I knew the girl was trouble. "Sir?", she said. My god, that…
Classical Conditioning
117
MFP '23-24 • January 2022
Alright class, today we’re going to cover something called classical conditioning. Can I get …
The Summer I Turned Into Danny DeVito
52
CYL '26 • December 2023
My mom used to tell me that I just had to wait for puberty to hit and then I wouldn’t be ugly…
President Nice Guy
30
HFJ '18 • December 2020
Richard Holton, our first Nice Guy president, eased out of the womb on December 24, 1921, giving do…
Puritan Party
30
RYSL FOD • May 2023
Hey. (gurgles) You think this is allowed? (spits) It’s not even really drinking, man! …
A Letter To The Suburbs
23
RYSL • December 2023
Dear Suburbs, You are my roots; I owe you everything. You molded me into the man that the city to…
Ice Gun
MFP '23-24 • September 2021
- You know that I love and support you, right? - Of course. - And that goes for anything, includi…
Dropping My D-Hall Tray
11
MMM '20 • October 2020
No, dude. No no no no this is not happening right now. I’ve lightly grazed the doorframe on m…
The Art of the Username
11
PKS '21-'22 • May 2020
Choosing a permanent username is a lot like choosing a name for your new baby insofar as it’s…
J. Robert Oppenheimer signs an NDA
28
CDL '21 • October 2020
– You understand that after you sign this document you cannot discuss the Manhattan Proj…
Swearing Kills
54
MFP '23-24 • May 2022
My Speech For Tonight
35
RIP '09 • October 2008
Hi everyone. I’m Jess’s father. Thank you all for coming to Jess’s sweet sixteen.…
TV Salesman
ZDG '20 • October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
Kitchen Sink
16
VG • December 2023
For our anniversary, my husband Thomas got me a new sink. It’s almost as if he’s…
My Cult
3
NGH '23 • June 2021
If you’re thinking about joining a classic, hardcore, intense kind of cult, then only think a…
Modern Mom Gritty Reboot
43
CLC '22-'23 • May 2023
(Lights up. Camera pans over a grayscale suburb.) VOICEOVER: The modern mom is secure. (Flash: a …
Krauts
11
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
Legend has it while serving in the trenches in WWI Wittgenstein would masturbate to math. German S…
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