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Pieces
My Piece About What It Would Be Like If I Wrote A Piece for the FYC #
1
CDL '21 • October 2020
– What started out as a frankly disgusting case of unbelievable obesity had snowballed into a…
Thumb War
39
NGH '23 • December 2022
First rule of being the new kid is to look out for bullies. I see a bully in the bathroom threateni…
Vanitas
74
YMC '21-'22 • March 2022
On the first day, God created the heavens and the earth. "Let there be light," He said, and there w…
Obituary
12
MAG '21-'22 • July 2021
If you would’ve told me yesterday that I’d be writing an obituary for the guy in this…
Larry was there.
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
Larry was there. Larry saw the flashes as the troposphere lit on fire, the sounds the bombs made as…
Vanitas
LRK '21-'22 • January 2021
Dear Readers, My greatest hope for you all is that you actually know how to read because t…
Trying To Write Mental Health Pieces When Your Mental Health Is Pretty Okay At The Moment
221
GPCP '22 • January 2022
You close your laptop, wishing you had something real to write about. The first three pieces about …
My Relationship
8
ZPH '12 • February 2010
… is like any other, especially the kind where one partner steals from the other, day after …
A Gentlemanly Cop
43
DCCP '25 • May 2023
Good evening, Mademoiselle. [I tip my hat and reveal a smaller fancier hat] You’re under ar…
Make Your Own Ad
15
CLC '22-'23 • May 2022
The Nantucket-Canterbury Medieval Faire
9
PKS '21-'22 • May 2020
Renaissance Faire season coincides with whaling season, which means most people do not know about t…
New Best Friend
361
SEH '26 • May 2023
This guy Brian showed up in my shower last night. The water wasn’t on, he was just read…
Episode 243: The First One After the Robo War
25
SAB '24 •
An overnight robo-nuclear war killed everyone in the world except the production team and one of th…
The Talk
LRK '21-'22 • November 2020
My Birth Mom: It’s a boy! Me: Hey, girl, what’s up? What you doing later, sexy…
J. Robert Oppenheimer signs an NDA
28
CDL '21 • October 2020
– You understand that after you sign this document you cannot discuss the Manhattan Proj…
Ray Charles
12
HBF '19 • December 2020
For forty years I’ve been Ray Charles’s private caretaker, helping make his dreams come…
Driving a Plane
42
EAT '24 • September 2021
As I’m driving a plane down the highway, airport control radio crackles in, “Unit 332, …
What I Imagine Summer Camp is Like
SVG '18 • December 2020
1. Toodle-ee-doo! The trumpet song wakes me up—time to canoe to breakfast. 2. I eat slop wit…
One Liners
92
NGH '23 •
Office Crush
70
YMC '21-'22 • December 2022
From the moment I met Louise Arlington, I knew the girl was trouble. "Sir?", she said. My god, that…
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