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Pieces

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Leisure Corner
March 2020
Welcome to the Leisure Suit’s Larry’s Leisure Corner. Sit down. Relax. Take a break fro…
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Sleepy Sam
16
Coming soon to a theater near you… (upbeat music playing) Sam Shmorganstein is a zookeeper w…
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Funding Needed for Life-Saving Surgery
161
May 2022
(二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二)$0 raised out of $50000 Please donate to my life-saving surgery. I cannot …
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Me & My Babies
7
November 2020
I milk myself nightly into my tub. My nightly emissions pool in my bath, glistening with a spectral…
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Glossary of Future Terms
10
July 2021
Welcome to the Year 2435! Please step off the portal platform. Here are some words you’ll nee…
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Playwriting
51
February 2020
Last Monday they caught me playwriting during detention.  “Well well well, what do we h…
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How I Stopped 9/11
117
I strut into the hideout, the most beautiful girl Osama bin Laden has ever seen.  Osama bin L…
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Fire Department Tour
10
March 2020
Fire Chief: And this here’s where we do our laundry—(alarm goes off) Oof, sorry kids, t…
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Texting on My Laptop II
17
March 2019
You have entered the chat. You have added Sarah Brickman to the chat. Me: Sarah Me: !! Me: ****…
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Amnesia
1
October 2019
– John? I mean uh, excuse me random stranger? – What do you want? – I have amne…
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World’s Luckiest & Most Depressed Person
183
January 2022
Pam Jensen woke up just like she did every other day – at the exact moment that she could see…
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Video Game Pitch
17
Sit down gentlemen, I have our next hit game. You thought Sonic The Hedgehog made us rich? Well Son…
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Reddit History
June 2020
Comment on New Zelda Game Out! by /u/bowzrrr999 in /r/nintendo [–] GREG_THE_MAN  0 poin…
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Krauts
October 2020
Legend has it while serving in the trenches in WWI Wittgenstein would masturbate to math. German S…
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A Day in the Life of Hamish Olsen, New York, 19
44
December 2020
She looked at him like a deer in headlights might look at someone if it had human eyes. Hamish had …
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Vanitas
January 2021
Dear Readers,   My greatest hope for you all is that you actually know how to read because t…
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Sometimes when I’m thinking…
2
November 2020
Sometimes when I’m thinking about doing something a little devil will pop up on one of my sho…
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Larry Buys Condoms
20
March 2020
Larry: Hey, can I get some rubbers.  Clerk: Yeah, sure, what kind of johnny you looking for, …
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A Taste of My Own Medicine
8
October 2020
Most people don’t believe this, but my job wasn’t always swindling terminally-ill peopl…