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Pieces

Family
1
JPW '21   •   October 2020
I’ve got a crazy family — two brothers, four sisters, three half-brothers, one quarter-…
At a wedding reception
9
SWR '19-'20   •   October 2020
Well, here goes nothing… (jumps up on table) Ahem! Mr. and Mrs. Martinez, I can’t le…
Tax Collector
56
JGB '25   •   May 2022
When it came time for collecting taxes, the tax collector’s only instruction from the robots …
At The Airport With My Least Favorite Uncle
10
ENO '21   •   April 2020
Uncle: Hey, Martin! Martin! Sit with me! Martin: I gotta get on my plane. Uncle: Where’re y…
My Trip to Cleveland
37
NSG '20-'22   •   December 2020
I’m going to be honest with you, reader—my sophomore fall didn’t get off to a gre…
My Steed
8
MFP '23-24   •   September 2022
Good evening, Lady Harrington. I have arrived on my mighty steed to take you away to — pardon…
How Long Have You Been Unemployed?
9
LRK '21-'22   •   October 2020
Uncle Buck: That’s an incredibly personal question. Me: I’m just asking because I&rsqu…
Donate Broth
49
JGB '25   •   May 2022
Polygamy
1086
JRD '22-'23   •   November 2020
-Hey man, you gonna make it to the barbecue this Saturday? –(Groans) Ughhh I really wish I c…
Dropping My D-Hall Tray
11
MMM '20   •   October 2020
No, dude. No no no no this is not happening right now. I’ve lightly grazed the doorframe on m…
Things I Want to Tell Stacy Now That I’m No Longer In Eighth Grade
40
KMM   •   February 2010
– I was the one who kind of initiated the tradition of everyone hugging each other at the end…
Charlie and the Next Successor
11
JGS '20   •   November 2019
It was time for old Charlie to pick the next child to take over the chocolate factory just as Willy…
Eulogy
46
JKF '25   •   September 2022
Welcome, Parishers. I am honored to speak in this holy chapel. You may call me Father Tod. I am not…
Lover in the Night Comix
21
AMC '23   •   May 2023
Warning from the Future
90
RYSL   •   March 2023
Dear Ethan, I am your great-great-great-great-grandson, and I sent this message from the future to…
Femme Fatale
16
VIN '21-'22   •   October 2020
She walks into the room and grabs my attention. Or maybe she grabs my hand. I’m shaking now. …
Red Dye 40
83
EAT '24   •   December 2023
I walk in the door, yoga pants bunched tight around my middle-aged buttocks. My husband thinks I&rs…
Fireman
59
OMA '24   •   December 2022
As a fireman, I face difficult decisions on a daily and nightly basis. For instance, do I take the …
Safari
2
BWM '19-'21   •   September 2020
“And here you’ll see the world’s fastest animal, the cheetah. A beautiful example…
Secret Journal
6
GPCP '22   •   December 2021
-Hey, I found the quiet kid’s journal—it’s all about the popular kids and how he&…