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Pieces
City Nights, 3029
20
GPCP '22 • May 2022
It’s Saturday night, and I’m looking for trouble. Shades. Scowl. Leather jacket in all …
Vanitas
JLG '21 • October 2020
Dear Judging Committee for the American Society for Magazine Editors, I notice you have not been r…
Dougle
114
AAD '23-'24 • May 2022
SNOWED IN
10
ZDG '20 • January 2020
Operator: 911, what’s your emergency? Me: I’m… stuck, in my cabin. I need human…
Gorilla Larry
18
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
– Woo wooo eeh ahhh wooo *feeds on stems*. – There he is, what…
Trading Up
46
EB '24 • September 2022
In 2005, Kyle MacDonald successfully traded up from a paperclip to a house. – Starti…
Family
1
JPW '21 • October 2020
I’ve got a crazy family — two brothers, four sisters, three half-brothers, one quarter-…
The Summer I Turned Into Danny DeVito
54
CYL '26 • December 2023
My mom used to tell me that I just had to wait for puberty to hit and then I wouldn’t be ugly…
‘Tucket
109
JLN '21-22 • June 2020
Hot Babes. Everywhere. Oyster season baby. Oyster. Fucking. Season. Summer on the ‘Tuck. If y…
Bronze Age Teen Drama
123
JRD '22-'23 • July 2021
Open on a mother and a son. In front of a forge. The work is hard, and the hours are long. -Mom, I…
Keynote Speech
2
SWR '19-'20 • December 2020
And that is how Denta-Firm is changing the game, as the world’s first ever blood-free tooth…
The Last Tiger’s Deathbed
24
CAS '12 • May 2021
It was a rainy night in November and at the Bronx Zoo a crowd of hundreds of thousands braved the e…
Taco Tuesday
39
JRD '22-'23 • December 2022
- Can I get two beef tacos please? - Sorry sir, we only …
Brinkmanship
36
CLC '22-'23 • May 2022
“The ability to get to the verge without getting into the war is the necessary art” &nd…
Cowboy Fantasies
6
MAG '21-'22 • March 2020
“I’ve been having cowboy fantasies again,” I mumble, before kicking through the s…
Yo Mama So Fat
34
JFAR '19-'22 • April 2019
-…is the best way I thought I could begin breaking this news, Timmy. I’m so sorry. She…
Swearing Kills
54
MFP '23-24 • May 2022
My Feminism
23
AJ '18 • December 2020
Even though it’s harder than ever before to be a woman, it’s easier than ever to be a f…
The Flu Game
10
HFJ '18 • May 2021
And Jordan moves left… Spins around Stockton… Wretches nine times and DRAINS the mid-…
Ray Charles
12
HBF '19 • December 2020
For forty years I’ve been Ray Charles’s private caretaker, helping make his dreams come…
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