Pieces

MAG '21-'22   •   July 2021
Winston Churchill, known for all of his political and military accomplishments, was also a Nobel Pr…
BWM '19-'21   •   November 2020
Her name was Sarah and I was absolutely head over heels for her. I’d cut two holes in a trash…
Tuxedo
13
MAS '18   •   September 2020
Glad I’ve got someone interested in buying Tuxedo. My father died in this tuxedo, and then it…
ZDG '20   •   January 2020
Lead: Fellas, meet the new fifth member of our quartet–Tom! Bass: Swell to meet ya Tom! Bar…
JRD '22-'23   •   December 2022
-       Can I get two beef tacos please? -       Sorry sir, we only …
JLG '21   •   October 2020
Dear Judging Committee for the American Society for Magazine Editors, I notice you have not been r…
JKF '25   •   May 2023
Thank you all so much for showing up to the courthouse this morning, even in the rain. Over the pas…
SWR '19-'20   •   December 2020
— Hey Brenda how’s it— jesus christ dude! — Ha ha fooled ya. Don’t I…
Late
204
JTK '24   •   January 2022
I look down at the watch tattooed on my wrist. It’s 10:00. Fuck. I look up at my wall clock t…
RIP '09   •   October 2008
GRANDFATHER: Here’s a card from me. Happy birthday. SON: Thanks, grandpa. MOTHER: Read it a…
YMC '21-'22   •   September 2021
Monday Me: (crying at desk).Lisa: Sorry to hear about your Maltese dog, Doug. When my su…
BWM '19-'21   •   May 2021
-Welcome to heaven. Please state your name, occupation, and cause of death.  -Wow, so you mus…
LKN '25   •   December 2023
-Hello class, today we have a new student. He was raised by wolves. -Hi, everyone. I’m Drew.…
SVG '18   •   December 2020
1. Toodle-ee-doo! The trumpet song wakes me up—time to canoe to breakfast. 2. I eat slop wit…
Advice
4
NSG '20-'22   •   January 2020
Listen bro I totally get where you’re coming from, but just remember that next time you point…
JKF '25   •   December 2023
On summer nights, I would sit by the train tracks. There wasn’t much to do around town except…
BMW
28
EB '24   •   May 2022
JGB '25   •   May 2022
When it came time for collecting taxes, the tax collector’s only instruction from the robots …
EPS '24   •  
I have this disease where everyday at 3 am three dudes kick the shit out of me.  It started p…
FSS '21   •   October 2020
Jaws…yes. Jaws is the story of a very big shark. Everyone knows that. Especially those who h…