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Pieces

Cold War Frat Boy
300242
SAB '24   •   May 2022
Nuclear warheads dropping near the die table. Bombs away, babes. Time for a quick game to 11 before…
Fieldnotes
33
JKF '25   •   May 2023
In 1954, psychologists infiltrated housewife Dorothy Martin’s UFO doomsday cult.   …
Yo Mama So Fat
24
JFAR '19-'22   •   April 2019
-…is the best way I thought I could begin breaking this news, Timmy. I’m so sorry. She…
The C5 Beer Pong Table Piece
10
GPL '21-'22   •   December 2019
So you’re in the market for a custom Beer Pong Table, preferably in the C4 through C6 range, …
Teacher’s Note
31
MFP '23-24   •   July 2021
Dear Parent, If you are receiving this note it means that your child has been enrolled in my class…
At a wedding reception
9
SWR '19-'20   •   October 2020
Well, here goes nothing… (jumps up on table) Ahem! Mr. and Mrs. Martinez, I can’t le…
My Feminism
20
AJ '18   •   December 2020
Even though it’s harder than ever before to be a woman, it’s easier than ever to be a f…
Lifeguard
17
MFP '23-24   •   December 2022
Kid: Help, I’m drowning! Hot Lifeguard: Clint, go get him! Fat Lifeguard: Really?  Ho…
Tales of Vengeance
11
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
Apology
15
EAT '24   •   May 2023
Thank you to the school committee for having me. You may know me as the woman whose son killed the …
Rare
1
HJH '19   •   December 2020
Some things are less rare than you think. Winning the Lottery My friend Rigley won the lottery ye…
Gavels
32
JGB '25   •   May 2023
You know that feeling when you take out your laundry and there’s only one sock, and you&rsquo…
Relax
10
MJS '19   •   October 2018
Welcome to my zen meditation studio, kemosabe. Now get those clothes off and get on the table, the …
Placebo
57
JTK '24   •   May 2022
The Flu Game
10
HFJ '18   •   May 2021
And Jordan moves left… Spins around Stockton… Wretches nine times and DRAINS the mid-…
Vanagon
13
MAS '18   •   December 2020
Ever since I was little, I wanted a vanagon. I worked for fifty years to get one — mailr…
Lobotomy
97
GPCP '22   •   January 2022
I sit down at the lunch table with a pruning saw and a smile. “Well, boys, I finally did it. …
President’s Little Helper
33
FOD '24   •   September 2021
Chief of Staff: Mr. President, he’s here. The solution to all of our problems. &nbs…
Book Discussion
30
OMA '24   •   September 2021
Teacher: Greg, could you open discussion on the theme of villainy in Great Expectations?G…
Smart Home
42
JGB '25   •   March 2023
Randy: (puts down bags) Ah, it’s good to be back. Jessica: Honey, turn on the lights, it&rsq…