Sign in
Subscribe
About
Read
Magazines
Books
Classics
Comp
Masthead
Contact
Search
Press ESC to close
Home
About
Read
Magazines
Books
Classics
Comp
Masthead
Contact
Sign in
Subscribe
Home
About
Read
Magazines
Books
Classics
Comp
Masthead
Contact
Pieces
SchopenMeower Cartoons
24
AMC '23 • May 2022
How McDonalds Came Up With Grimace
1154
JRD '22-'23 • May 2021
Businessman: As I was saying, what do kids love? Characters! We just ran with that. Businesswoman:…
Debugging
103
FOD '24 • March 2023
My story begins with me working as an engineer on one of the first computers in the world, wh…
Johnny Adventure, Space Cashier
57
JRD '22-'23 •
It’s the future, but not so far in the future that cashiers are obsolete. We open on our prot…
If It Were Big Bird
MAK '21 • May 2021
In 1986, instead of an elementary school teacher, NASA had initially considered Big Bird as their f…
Femme Fatale
16
VIN '21-'22 • October 2020
She walks into the room and grabs my attention. Or maybe she grabs my hand. I’m shaking now. …
Life After the Lampoon
18
JFAR '19-'22 • August 2019
Conan O’Brien: Juan, congrats on graduating! Here, take this. Me: Wow, another Ferrari! Con…
My Relationship
8
ZPH '12 • February 2010
… is like any other, especially the kind where one partner steals from the other, day after …
One Man Show
36
EPS '24 • August 2021
The janitor was diligently color-coding dust when the director burst in. “Mort, none of the a…
The Nantucket-Canterbury Medieval Faire
9
PKS '21-'22 • May 2020
Renaissance Faire season coincides with whaling season, which means most people do not know about t…
The Guys Who Invented Ping Pong
10
JLG '21 • July 2021
GUY 1: Check this out…(opens up the game PONG on Atari)GUY 2: Woah! (plays PONG)GUY 1: If on…
Kitchen Sink
18
VG • December 2023
For our anniversary, my husband Thomas got me a new sink. It’s almost as if he’s…
Laser Danger
30
MAG '21-'22 • January 2022
Before dying of liver failure, action stuntman Laser Danger said some of the coolest things utter…
Snails Need Love Too
1
ZDG '20 • November 2019
A darkly handsome bladesman stood at the edge of the clearing. I didn’t recognize him, but hi…
Eulogy of George
1
MGM '19 • December 2020
Good morning everyone. I know we all loved George. And I know most of you guys probably don’t…
Safari
2
BWM '19-'21 • September 2020
“And here you’ll see the world’s fastest animal, the cheetah. A beautiful example…
My First Kiss
32
JPW '21 • September 2020
I pick up this girl Julia in my car, and I’m doing 90 on Lincoln Avenue, you know, batting ma…
Trying To Write Mental Health Pieces When Your Mental Health Is Pretty Okay At The Moment
221
GPCP '22 • January 2022
You close your laptop, wishing you had something real to write about. The first three pieces about …
Larry Purchases a Masturbation Bot
Anonymous • March 2020
Larry: Power on Masturbation Bot 3000: (turns on, starts fingering self) Larry: Jesus&helli…
The Taco Bell on Beverly
30
HBF '19 • January 2020
“Where are you going?” you ask the homeless man wandering down San Vicente. “Don&…
1
(current)
2
3
4
5
»