Artwork: ghost

How McDonalds Came Up With Grimace

Author: JRD '22-'23
As seen in: One Last Dance #

Businessman: As I was saying, what do kids love? Characters! We just ran with that.

Businesswoman: So you all know Ronald McDonald, but we also came up with the Hamburglar, a thief who tries to steal all the hamburgers.

Businessman: Right, and there’s also Mayor McCheese – he’s in charge of the whole McDonaldland. And then there’s – 

Grimace: GRIMACE!!

Grimace, a businessman dressed in a giant purple suit, enters the room. He wobbles back and forth, seemingly unable to bear the weight of his own body. 

Businessman: Right, and then there’s Grimace, who – 

Grimace: GRIM GRAM!!

Businessman: Who’s kind of slow, and he likes to… Carl are you okay?

Grimace: GRUMPUS!!

Businesswoman: I don’t think Carl can breathe in there. Somebody get that helmet off – 

Boss: Let the man finish, Brenda!


Grimace begins taking cheeseburgers out of a burlap sack and shoving them at his face. Since there’s no mouth hole on the costume, the burgers smear all over Grimace’s head, giving the appearance that he is foaming at the mouth. 

Boss: Why… Why is he just staring at me like that? 

Grimace: (panting, standing still)

Businesswoman: Carl buddy, take off the costume now. 

Carl: (outside boardroom) Hey, are you guys ready for me out there?

Grimace: (leaps head-first out window)