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Pieces
Biome
OTLB '13 • July 2021
Life ‘em up, boys. That’s what our sergeant used to say. Our job was to create the bigg…
Classical Conditioning
118
MFP '23-24 • January 2022
Alright class, today we’re going to cover something called classical conditioning. Can I get …
Draft Dodging
60
RYSL • May 2023
The national draft is underway, and as an amputee I’m terrified of active combat. Thankfully,…
Girlfriend
40
GPCP '22 • September 2021
Of course I have a girlfriend, she just goes to another school. Which school? The, uh, the one a fe…
Things I Want to Tell Stacy Now That I’m No Longer In Eighth Grade
40
KMM • February 2010
– I was the one who kind of initiated the tradition of everyone hugging each other at the end…
My Diwali
4
SAB '24 •
Diwali is a festival of lights that occurs in either October or November and is one of the major fe…
Marco Polo
16
HJH '19 • March 2019
Marco Polo travelled the world trading spices, documenting his experiences. Today, I entered the c…
One Man Car Wash
10
HJH '19 • June 2020
– (standing on street corner with buckets of water, some rags, and a ‘Car Wash’ s…
Chimney Sweep
53
JFAR '19-'22 • January 2017
Chimney sweeping is what I was born to do since I have no arms or legs. Doctors called my missing l…
Oliver Twist
14
RYSL • September 2022
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight I have the honor of performing the annual orphan monologue for this y…
The Count of Monte Cristo Returns to Marseilles
19
ASB '17 • December 2020
Count: People of Marseilles! For twenty years you unfairly imprisoned me. Now behold my immens…
Ghost Hunters
45
MMM '20 • December 2020
School’s out, plan is a go. It’s officially Halloween. My parents think I&r…
Taco Tuesday
39
JRD '22-'23 • December 2022
- Can I get two beef tacos please? - Sorry sir, we only …
A Gentlemanly Cop
43
DCCP '25 • May 2023
Good evening, Mademoiselle. [I tip my hat and reveal a smaller fancier hat] You’re under ar…
Commercial Shoot
CDL '21 • December 2020
-Listen, kid. This is easy. Just read off the teleprompter, and we’re golden. Start whenever.…
Letter to Roosevelt
10
MMM '20 • January 2020
In 1939, at the urging of physicist Leo Szilárd, Einstein wrote a letter to FDR, informing h…
Waxing Thoughts
65
YMC '21-'22 • January 2022
“I understand your pain. I’ve gone through the same thing”:– the woman wa…
Algorithms
7
VIN '21-'22 • January 2020
Algorithms are all around us. You might not see or hear them, but they are present. They are there …
Organ Harvesting
58
JGB '25 •
Dealer: Just give me the money. Buyer: Hang on. I want to see the goods first. (Dealer motions to…
Bob Golf
50
JKF '25 • May 2023
“How was your summer, Bob Golf?” chuckles the hottest guy in school. I like to stand be…
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