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Pieces
Yo Mama So Fat
34
JFAR '19-'22 • April 2019
-…is the best way I thought I could begin breaking this news, Timmy. I’m so sorry. She…
Closing Argument
142
SEH '26 • May 2023
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, when I woke up this morning I thought, wow, I am so tired of the …
May I Approach the Bench?
24
OMA '24 • May 2023
You may, but keep it quick, I have five minutes until Judge Judy comes on, and I’m going to…
Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me
27
BWM '19-'21 • September 2020
Peter Sagal: Thaaaanks Bill, it’s the week between Christmas and new years and we here at Wai…
Retirement Compound Salesman
28
MAV '23-'24 • November 2020
Apt. 1B: Hello there! How often have you dropped that Life Alert of yours into the toilet? At your …
Larry takes a trip on Delta Airlines Flight 460 to Las Vegas
FSS '21 • March 2020
Patricia: Hello everyone and welcome to Delta Airlines Flight 460 to Las Vegas. My name is Patricia…
Genesis
10
HJH '19 • December 2020
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, but …
Inspired Musings
1
BWM '19-'21 • December 2020
Scientists say that the murder rate goes up when there is a full moon. But so does the rate of peop…
City Nights, 3029
20
GPCP '22 • May 2022
It’s Saturday night, and I’m looking for trouble. Shades. Scowl. Leather jacket in all …
Lawnmower
21
MAS '18 • December 2020
Want to stop mowing your lawn like a quivering pussy? Then shut the fuck up and buy the GRASS-FUCKE…
Swearing Kills
54
MFP '23-24 • May 2022
Things To Say If You Want To Join The Cool Table
22
GPCP '22 • December 2021
Don’t mind me, lemme pull up a chair—backwards. My mom packs me lemon slices instead…
At The Airport With My Least Favorite Uncle
10
ENO '21 • April 2020
Uncle: Hey, Martin! Martin! Sit with me! Martin: I gotta get on my plane. Uncle: Where’re y…
Kindergarten
3
GPL '21-'22 • October 2020
Hello, is this the mother of Steve Austin? The stone cold professional wrestler? The 54 year old ma…
Measuring the Length of my Penis
37
BWM '19-'21 • February 2020
*mmmm* .. (the tip of my penis extends to the 4 inch mark) “mmm…
Femme Fatale
16
VIN '21-'22 • October 2020
She walks into the room and grabs my attention. Or maybe she grabs my hand. I’m shaking now. …
Choose Your Own Adventure
40
JGB '25 • May 2022
You are feeling awfully hungry today. What would you like to eat? > A ham sandwich. Keep readi…
Antidepressants
198
EBC '22-'23 • January 2022
What they don’t tell you about starting antidepressants is that sometimes you’ll try to…
Book Discussion
31
OMA '24 • September 2021
Teacher: Greg, could you open discussion on the theme of villainy in Great Expectations?G…
Smart Home
43
JGB '25 • March 2023
Randy: (puts down bags) Ah, it’s good to be back. Jessica: Honey, turn on the lights, it&rsq…
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