Sign in Subscribe
About Comp Masthead Contact Search
Home About Comp Masthead Contact Sign in Subscribe

Pieces

Kitchen Sink
18
VG   •   December 2023
For our anniversary, my husband Thomas got me a new sink.  It’s almost as if he’s…
The Summer I Turned Into Danny DeVito
54
CYL '26   •   December 2023
My mom used to tell me that I just had to wait for puberty to hit and then I wouldn’t be ugly…
Inspired Musings
1
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2020
Scientists say that the murder rate goes up when there is a full moon. But so does the rate of peop…
Lifeguard
27
MFP '23-24   •   December 2022
Kid: Help, I’m drowning! Hot Lifeguard: Clint, go get him! Fat Lifeguard: Really?  Ho…
Vanitas
74
YMC '21-'22   •   March 2022
On the first day, God created the heavens and the earth. "Let there be light," He said, and there w…
Fireman
59
OMA '24   •   December 2022
As a fireman, I face difficult decisions on a daily and nightly basis. For instance, do I take the …
Safari
2
BWM '19-'21   •   September 2020
“And here you’ll see the world’s fastest animal, the cheetah. A beautiful example…
New Partner
20
JFAR '19-'22   •   January 2016
A cop’s #1 belief: I’m not gonna be the jerkoff that shoots his own partner. I live and…
Seven Deadly Gourds
MAG '21-'22   •   June 2020
The Orange Gourd: This one will kill you 100%. The Ghost Pepper: This one is less pungent, still…
Cool Kevin
6
MAG '21-'22   •   December 2021
Cool Kevin is a man the military pays to come to our office and yell at us about not smoking mariju…
Family
1
JPW '21   •   October 2020
I’ve got a crazy family — two brothers, four sisters, three half-brothers, one quarter-…
My Piece About What It Would Be Like If I Wrote A Piece for the FYC #
1
CDL '21   •   October 2020
– What started out as a frankly disgusting case of unbelievable obesity had snowballed into a…
Bulimia Recovery Clinic
81
YMC '21-'22   •   March 2022
My parents decided to send me to the public Bulimia Recovery Clinic over in Toad Suck, Arkansas the…
Non-Confrontational Judge
39
JKF '25   •   May 2023
Thank you all so much for showing up to the courthouse this morning, even in the rain. Over the pas…
Science Class
171
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Tommy: Aggghhh! It burns! It burns! (pulls safety shower lever)  Mr. Miller: Tommy, this can&…
Morning Announcements
116
SEH '26   •   December 2023
Good morning Vietnam! No, it's not Robin Williams. I know everyone gets excited every time I do tha…
Dear Historians,
SWR '19-'20   •   March 2020
At the time of writing, the COVID-19 pandemic has brought the world to a standstill. Though the Lam…
Obituary
12
MAG '21-'22   •   July 2021
If you would’ve told me yesterday that I’d be writing an obituary for the guy in this…
Good Cop, Bad Cop, Jelly-Donut Cop
43
JTB '20-22   •   December 2020
Bad Cop: We have your fingerprints on the gun, the doorknob, and the victim, punk. Good Cop: Hey j…
A Letter To The Suburbs
23
RYSL   •   December 2023
Dear Suburbs, You are my roots; I owe you everything. You molded me into the man that the city to…