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Pieces
Dropping My D-Hall Tray
11
MMM '20 • October 2020
No, dude. No no no no this is not happening right now. I’ve lightly grazed the doorframe on m…
Change Jar
4
KPB • May 2021
i am texting from the faculty lounge and i am looking at the Change Jar in front of me and it appea…
Advice For A New CIA Agent
15
HHD • October 2008
Welcome to your first day in the CIA. First of all, congratulations. If you’re an agent, you …
One Man Car Wash
10
HJH '19 • June 2020
– (standing on street corner with buckets of water, some rags, and a ‘Car Wash’ s…
Playwriting
56
JLN '21-22 • February 2020
Last Monday they caught me playwriting during detention. “Well well well, what do we h…
Date Ideas
1
LRK '21-'22 • November 2020
-Tap Dancing Summer Intensive-Battle it out in a kite flying competition-Try lettuce for the first …
The Talk Throughout History
41
MAV '23-'24 • November 2020
Eve: I think that’s the wrong hole.Adam: Again?? I really wish we had parents to sit us down …
Application
83
EBC '22-'23 • October 2020
Hey Angel- Thanks for letting me read your college essay! I’ve left a few comments below. L…
Times That an Extinction-Level Nuclear War Would Really Suck
59
SAB '24 • May 2022
- One day before technology that makes everyone live forever is invented - One hour before all the…
A Quest
3
ASB '17 • December 2020
I’m embarking on a quest to personally give a big thumbs-up to the child who made my iPhone. …
Game Theoretic Standoff
132
JRD '22-'23 • May 2022
- Freeze, punk! I’ve got you in my pistol’s sights. You can either come over and let me…
My Dog and All My Coworkers’ Dogs All Got Food Poisoning From the Office Dog Food Stash and It Was Really Awful and Sad
16
YMC '21-'22 • September 2021
Monday Me: (crying at desk).Lisa: Sorry to hear about your Maltese dog, Doug. When my su…
The Art of the Username
11
PKS '21-'22 • May 2020
Choosing a permanent username is a lot like choosing a name for your new baby insofar as it’s…
Run To End Lung Cancer
69
JLN '21-22 •
Me: The runners, they’re all...? Ref: All terminally ill lung-cancer patients. Me: Oh…
TV Salesman
ZDG '20 • October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
The Number 6
12
HJH '19 • October 2020
Arthur Peddleton is unable to comprehend the number 6. It began as a normal day for Arthur Peddlet…
Late
204
JTK '24 • January 2022
I look down at the watch tattooed on my wrist. It’s 10:00. Fuck. I look up at my wall clock t…
A Letter To The Suburbs
23
RYSL • December 2023
Dear Suburbs, You are my roots; I owe you everything. You molded me into the man that the city to…
Chained To A Tree
68
EAT '24 •
When they were all like “We need someone to chain themselves to this tree!” I was all l…
How Long Have You Been Unemployed?
9
LRK '21-'22 • October 2020
Uncle Buck: That’s an incredibly personal question. Me: I’m just asking because I&rsqu…
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