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Pieces
Seven Deadly Gourds
MAG '21-'22 • June 2020
The Orange Gourd: This one will kill you 100%. The Ghost Pepper: This one is less pungent, still…
The Black Death
50
YMC '21-'22 • March 2022
- Anne, mine old friend, I… I hast been touch'd by the bubonic plague.- Nay! Prithee, Margar…
Advice For A New CIA Agent
15
HHD • October 2008
Welcome to your first day in the CIA. First of all, congratulations. If you’re an agent, you …
Dialogue Piece
44
MFP '23-24 • March 2023
— How was your weekend? — I can’t tell you about things I did …
Surf Trip
47
HJH '19 • December 2020
I’ll never forget the summer I road-tripped to Hawaii with my two best friends. While it star…
2020 International Video Game Awards Acceptance Speech
10
JLG '21 • October 2020
Oh, thank you, really thank you so much. This award…it truly means so much to me. Well, it l…
Titles of Movies I Wrote About Time Travel
10
PKS '21-'22 • April 2021
- I Go Back in Time and Kick Dust All Over the JonBenet Ramsey Crime Scene - I Go B…
Taco Tuesday
39
JRD '22-'23 • December 2022
- Can I get two beef tacos please? - Sorry sir, we only …
TV Salesman
13
ZDG '20 • October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
The Beat Generation
17
MAG '21-'22 • March 2019
Jazz flowed from the streets in the 50s. We swam naked in the churches. We prayed in the oceans. We…
Me & My Babies
7
CDL '21 • November 2020
I milk myself nightly into my tub. My nightly emissions pool in my bath, glistening with a spectral…
Antidepressants
198
EBC '22-'23 • January 2022
What they don’t tell you about starting antidepressants is that sometimes you’ll try to…
Genesis
10
HJH '19 • December 2020
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, but …
Missy Manners
126
Josh Lieb '93 • November 2020
Okay, so you’re in the cafeteria. They’re serving peas. The boy across from you is thro…
Johnny Adventure, Space Cashier
57
JRD '22-'23 •
It’s the future, but not so far in the future that cashiers are obsolete. We open on our prot…
Dear Historians,
SWR '19-'20 • March 2020
At the time of writing, the COVID-19 pandemic has brought the world to a standstill. Though the Lam…
The Time I Got Caught Milking
22
YMC '21-'22 • February 2020
One time I was at the farm, milking some cows when Bobby, the guy that owns the farm, comes out run…
Morning Routine
15
HJH '19 • December 2020
8:00am – Wake up and shower. This is easy if you sleep in the shower. 11:30am – Put so…
Reddit History
10
MAG '21-'22 • June 2020
Comment on New Zelda Game Out! by /u/bowzrrr999 in /r/nintendo [–] GREG_THE_MAN 0 poin…
SchopenMeower Cartoons
24
AMC '23 • May 2022
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